Strangers Talk
by loveandlearn92
Summary: Former one-shot. A/U: Meeting someone can be totally fleeting and meaningless, or it can be life changing. Callie and Arizona meet at a mutual friends wedding, sparks fly as they ease into conversation, but is all as it seems?
1. Strangers Talk

**Disclaimer:** The characters are not mine, they were created by Shonda Rhimes and Grey's Anatomy is the property of ABC. No infringement intended.

**AN**: This idea came to my head and I thought I would write a quick one-shot for fun. It's the first time I've written anything on here and I'm not exactly a great writer so there will be mistakes - No Beta.

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**Chapter One**

**Strangers Talk**

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Callie sat comfortably in her seat; her fingers playing with the glass of red wine in her hand, her large brown eyes surveying the crowded room. People were in groups or coupled up everywhere, most of them drunk; laughing, singing and dancing, generally making a fool of themselves but having a good time. In spite of this, her eyes, after scanning the crowded room, were locked on one thing; the gorgeous and familiar looking blonde standing in the farthest corner, avoiding the hustle and bustle of the busy wedding reception. She was by herself, leaning against the stone wall, attempting and failing, to light the cigarette in her hand. Finally, having had enough, Callie threw her head back and tipped her glass one last time, emptying the contents and mustering up enough courage to approach the woman to see if she was in need of assistance.

With each step her eyes raked very obviously up and down the body of the woman infront of her, who was not just hot, but smoking hot. Her golden hair was hanging by her shoulders and down her back in loose waves and she was wearing a short black dress that clung to her body in just the right way. Showing off her curves and killer legs, which were long and lean, and accentuated by a pair of very high stiletto heels. If that wasn't enough, she looked even better face to face than she did from across the room. Her skin was creamy and pale, and her cheeks were flushing a delicate pink, clearly flustered by her many failed attempts to light her damn cigarette. Her lips were tinged pink, the small amount of lip-gloss on them making them shine but still look natural. She grinned at the sight of the blonde's pursed lips as she tried to spark the cigarette in her hand one last time, failing yet again. It might have been the cutest thing she had ever seen.

"You know, most people would give up. . ." Callie began, letting out a giggle as piercing blue eyes snapped up to look into hers, startled. "Especially since you're not actually meant to smoke in here," she continued teasingly, a mischievous grin on her face as she took the blondes lighter from her hands and sparked the cigarette hanging from her mouth.

"I'm not most people," Arizona husked, exhaling deeply and making sure to blow the cloud of smoke away from the beautiful Latina who had come to her aid. "But thanks for enabling me, because if I'm going down, you're going down with me," she wiggled her eyebrows playfully and flashed a set of dimples, daring anyone to try to accuse her of being anything but angelic. Callie laughed and Arizona found herself joining in, noting that Callie had the most infectious laugh she had ever heard and the most beautiful, expressive brown eyes.

When the laughing ceased, awkwardness set in and Callie slipped into doctor mode. "Seriously though, this stuff kills you," she warned with a stern look on her face.

Arizona felt her mouth go dry and her stomach flip, she should know better with her profession. "Oh, uh, I know," she agreed, blushing slightly. "But I, um, only smoke on very rare occasions and tonight, well it's one of them. What's your excuse?" She asked, laughing and pointing to the trail of empty wine glasses Callie had left on her now isolated table.

"Oh trust me, those were needed," Callie informed her. "I shouldn't even be here, never mind being a bridesmaid. I was an alternate, you know, last choice. There was an incident and the other bridesmaid, well; she couldn't make it so I was drafted in. I've only recently got back in touch with the bride. I knew her a very, very long time ago so I was surprised she considered me." She let out a nervous laugh, "Before she did I hadn't even been asked to the wedding as a guest, though she swore she intended to invite me all along." Shrugging her shoulders she added, "You know how it is . . ."

"Hmm, I don't actually." Arizona's face was soft, her voice understanding as she asked, "Why don't you tell me?"

Callie leaned forward so her mouth was next to Arizona's ear as she whispered, "You could say I have a history with one of the guests?"

Arizona raised her eyebrows, her expression playful, "That sounds . . . interesting."

"Oh no, it isn't," Callie began, shaking her head emphatically. "It's actually really, really boring."

Arizona grinned mischievously. "I don't know about that, I like history."

"No this is the sad, dull, real people kind. You know, people getting hurt, lessons having to be learned, growing up. I'm only here because the bride was absolutely desperate."

"Or you are one of her closest friends but your history with this guest prevented her from inviting you earlier and it was only when she needed another bridesmaid she found the courage to ask you."

Callie smiled at Arizona's optimism, "Maybe." She thought about it for a moment, "We were close at one point. At least I think we were . . . The more I think about it the more I realize the few people here that I once considered friends were probably just my ex-girlfriends friends and mine by proxy. I haven't seen most of them in over ten years. I'm practically a stranger now."

Arizona looked puzzled, "Why are you here then?"

"I asked myself that question on the plane but I couldn't really figure it out. There were a couple of logical reasons; it was a free trip, the bride needed a bridesmaid, I could catch up with some old friends, among others, that, well, were not so logical . . ." She trailed off, tilting her head.

Arizona gave her a knowing smile and they both stood staring at each other intently, taking in every feature on the others face and making a mental note. It was only when a swarm of women flew past them in hope of catching the bride's wedding bouquet that they snapped out of their dazed state.

"Oh," Arizona said excitedly. "They're throwing the bouquet isn't that your cue to go, try catch it?" She raised a playful eyebrow, "You know, single ladies?"

Callie raised her left hand and waved her fingers, flashing a ring, "I'm not single."

"You're married?" she asked, taking Callie's hand in her own and admiring the ring.

Callie looked down at her hand, "Engaged."

"Is your fiancé with you?"

"No," Callie began, shaking her head. "She couldn't make it, work got in the way."

"What does she do?" Arizona asked, curious.

"She's a surgeon," Callie hesitated. "That's how we met, at work."

Arizona laughed, delighted, "You're a surgeon?"

Callie nodded, smiling, "Yeah, Ortho."

"Wow. That's awesome." Her face beamed as she added, "That's some pretty impressive stuff you've got going on, considering how much of a boy's club Ortho is."

Callie waved the compliment off, "It's not that big a deal when you're engaged to a world-renowned Cardio-God, trust me."

Arizona smiled, "Don't sell yourself short. You're a rockstar."

Callie's face lit up at that, before asking, "What about you?"

"Oh, Peds surgeon of course."

Callie let out a small laugh, "Hardcore, right?"

"Right," Arizona replied, grinning knowingly.

"So," Callie bit her lip, not knowing if she wanted to know the answer to her next question. "Are you uh, seeing anyone?"

Arizona's face contorted a little, "I have a casual thing going on, but it's nothing serious, just a lot of fun."

Callie's mouth dropped open slightly, a smile on her lips, "Hmm, I know your kind. You don't come off as someone who just has fun."

Arizona smirked, "Looks can be deceiving."

"I guess people change," Callie replied, with a shrug of her shoulders.

"That's what tends to happen with age." She paused, trying to keep the many questions running through her head from slipping out of her mouth but one did, "Does your Cardio-God have a name?"

"Erica." She hesitated before asking, "What about your . . . person?"

"Julie."

An awkward silence loomed over them as neither knew what to say, the noise around them amplifying, their eyes shifting uncomfortably from each other to pretty much anything else in the room. Eventually finding it unbearable Callie spoke, "You know, I do remember meeting you before."

Arizona took a moment, several comebacks forming in her mind but when she opened her mouth she simply uttered, "You do?" with a large grin on her face.

Callie nodded her head and smiled. She spoke with a certain fondness as she recalled their first encounter, "You were sitting in the library by yourself with a book in your hand, your eyes kept peering over the top checking me out, so I took a seat opposite you and introduced myself. Then I asked if you would have lunch with me."

Arizona laughed, "And I tried to play it cool and turn you down-"

"Yeah, but that didn't last long . . ." Callie interrupted, a crooked smile covering her face.

Arizona smiled softly and they both paused for a second, reliving the memory.

"Dance with me?" Callie asked; an imploring look in her eyes.

Startled, Arizona looked at her for a moment, "I'm not much of a dancer."

Callie smiled; having been pretty sure Arizona wouldn't be able to say no to her. "Really?" she asked, not at all convinced.

Arizona shrugged, "I used to like dancing but I find much less occasion for it nowadays."

"It's just one dance, for old-time sake," Callie pleaded, holding out her hands to her.

A smiled tugged at the corners of Arizona's mouth and escaped as she said, "Okay, but only one."

Callie took Arizona's hands in her own, smiling and lacing their fingers together as she led her to the dance floor. It just so happened that the band started to play another song, the melody slower and sweeter than before. Callie smiled, pulling Arizona in closer so her hands were resting on her lower back and their breasts were just barely brushing against each other's. Delicately entrapping her, yet effortlessly so, as Arizona seemed perfectly content to just stand there and be held in her arms. She was grateful that Callie began to lead, sort of swaying them along with the music. Her breath hitched as Callie's nose nuzzled against the side of her head instinctively, and she felt something like warmth radiate her heart. Responding, she lay her head on Callie's shoulder and they both sighed airily, choosing to enjoy the closeness and sway silently for a few faultless moments. And they did, until it became a little overwhelming.

Arizona's throat constricted and she took a deep breath as she asked, "Are you happy?"

"Hmm . . ." Callie hummed faintly, lifting her head slightly.

"Are you happy," Arizona repeated. "With Erica I mean."

"I'm engaged to her," Callie breathed.

"That doesn't necessarily mean you're happy," Arizona said shaking her head. "That just means you're content."

Callie sighed, "Let's not talk about Erica . . . because if I talk about her I'll feel too bad to do what I know I'm going to do, and I won't do it."

"What are you going to do?" Arizona whispered, her fingertips lightly travelling the length of Callie's spine before settling on her lower back again.

"I don't know yet," Callie backpedalled, answering honestly. "But I just want to stay like this for now, is that okay?"

Arizona pulled Callie even closer, tightening her grip, "It's perfect."

They continued to dance in silence, gently swaying to the music and enjoying the connection they shared, until the song came to an abrupt end.

"Thank you," Callie whispered in Arizona's ear, pulling back to look into her blue eyes.

Arizona stared right back at her, lost in the sea of chocolate brown that was Callie's eyes. Nodding her head once, she smiled softly and replied, "Anytime."

With that, they reluctantly broke the embrace they were in, taking a step back and putting some distance between themselves.

"Do you want to get a drink?" Callie asked, waving an arm in the direction of the bar.

"Sure," Arizona replied, following Callie and taking a seat next to her on one of the high stools.

Once they had ordered their drinks Callie sighed, "You know I tried to contact you . . ."

Arizona placed a hand on Callie's so it was grazing it ever so slightly, looking deeply into her eyes, "Let's not talk about that. You're killing me, you know?" Callie gave her best half-hearted smile, her eyes full of sadness. "How long are you here?" Arizona asked, curious.

"Just the night," Callie shook her head. "It was really last-minute but I have a room, here, at the hotel."

"Yeah," Arizona said softly, raising an eyebrow. It came out as more of a question, looking for confirmation that they were both on the same page about where this night was heading.

A bright smile covered Callie's face, "Do you want to get out of here?"

"I thought you'd never ask," Arizona replied, tipping her glass and emptying the contents

With that they left the reception and stumbled into the small elevator in the hotel lobby. They both stood close to each other staring ahead, it was uncomfortable but maddeningly alluring at the same time. The cramped, claustrophobic, and impersonal space was also enticing, romantic, and private, sparking desire within them and allowing the sexual tension build to unbearable heights. When Arizona finally allowed herself to look over at the brunette, a charming smile spread across her face, eliciting a smile from Callie in return. They continued to watch each other, feeling the heat rise between them. They could have easily hit the emergency stop in that moment and had their way with each other right there and then. However, the heavy metal doors slid open with a ding and able to breathe again they both stepped out. Needing some physical contact after that slow and torturous ride on the elevator Callie grabbed Arizona's hand; she smiled and then led her down the narrow hall towards her room. She had wanted this for so long but her brain processing everything started to feed into her nervousness and she felt guilt wash over her.

She stopped suddenly, turning to face Arizona, "What about Julie?"

"I told you it's nothing serious," Arizona replied, shrugging her shoulders.

"Yeah . . . I just, what about my fiancé?" Callie inquired, the guilt etched on her face.

Arizona gave Callie's hand a tight squeeze; sure the physical connection would help most in this moment. "You really aren't feeling good, are you?" She pouted. "As a doctor I recommend you go to straight to bed, that will help." Callie smiled at her playfulness, gripping Arizona's hand tighter and pulling her down the hall towards her room.

When they reached the door she rummaged through her bag and pulled out the key card, swiping it so the door opened with a click. "So, we're here. What are we going to do?" She asked closing the door behind them, feigning innocence with a seductive grin on her face.

Arizona pulled her closer to her body. "What do two people usually do all alone in a hotel room late at night?" She asked, a hand cupping Callie's face, her thumb gently grazing the warm caramel skin of her cheek before softly gliding along her lower lip. Her eyes were lost in the large chocolate-brown ones that stared back so full of warmth.

Callie closed her eyes nuzzling into the pale hand, and then let out a deep sigh. "You know I'm really sorry, I tried-" she started before being cut off by the blonde's index finger on her lips.

"Don't apologize, we don't need to talk," Arizona whispered into Callie's ear, her hot breath making her shiver.

"I'm only here tonight," Callie explained, distracted by Arizona's mouth nibbling on her ear. "I need to leave in the morning, you know that? I need to go home."

"I know, now let me make the most of it," Arizona replied, her hands slowly travelling the length of Callie's body, grazing her breasts before settling on her hips; fingertips drawing small circles on the tops of her thighs.

"I can't believe we are doing this," Callie breathed. "And yet I knew I couldn't stop this from happening. The minute I saw you, I just knew," she admitted. "I know this isn't going to end well. There are no happy endings in our future," she sighed, defeated.

"We can make each other happy now," Arizona replied. "But first," she began, smiling seductively. "We need to get you out of this dress." She turned Callie and slowly unzipped her dress, placing wet kisses on the newly exposed flesh of her spine. Callie groaned at the feeling of Arizona's soft lips and tongue on her back, her fingertips ghosting the flesh as she pulled the dress down her curvaceous body. When it caught on her hips Arizona moved to Callie's front and dropped to her knees, tugging the restricting material.

"You look good down there," Callie teased. Arizona's hands still travelling playfully slapped Callie's ass; making her gasp then laugh, before continuing to pull the dress down her long caramel legs; all the while peppering kisses on her toned thighs, causing Callie to quiver and place her hands on Arizona's shoulders for support. When the dress hit the floor she looked up, appreciating the sight.

Arizona got to her feet and smiled, "Your body has changed so much but it's still so familiar." Callie stepped out from the dress, left in only a bright red laced bra and matching panties. She watched as Arizona's eyes raked up and down her body, and judging by the darkened arousal in them she liked what she saw. Arizona leant forward, mouth hovering over Callie's, staring straight into her eyes as whispered, "You are breathtaking."

Callie shook her head in disbelief, sounding just a little insecure, "God, you haven't seen me naked in over ten years . . ."

"You look even better with age," Arizona began. Callie making a noise in the back of her throat as Arizona's breath washed over lips,"You are stunning Calliope." She closed the gap between them as she whispered, "Always." Callie's lips tingled as they gently grazed Arizona's soft pink ones; her mouth parting instantly when she felt Arizona lean in and apply more pressure, her tongue gliding seamlessly along her lower lip, seeking entrance. She welcomed it and let out the tiniest of moans as their tongues met for the first time, massaging each other so sensually; slowly exploring each other's mouths before easing into an intricate dance. Arizona kissed Callie with such passion that she was blown away. She seemed to be pouring everything she felt into it, making her feel it too. She whimpered against her lips, overwhelmed by the feeling and ultimately wanting more. Her hands wandered the length of Arizona's arms, her fingertips caressing her soft skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake until they reached her shapely hips and settled there. She felt a shiver go through Arizona's body from the contact and she loved how she reacted to her touch. It was a soft, tender and passionate kiss, both women taking their time to rediscover each other's mouths, but it also ignited a fire deep within them. It felt like their every nerve was exposed; every touch causing sparks to course through their bodies and settle between their legs, making them throb with desire.

Callie moved her mouth to Arizona's ear and whispered, "You don't know how long I've wanted this." Her voice was seductive, an octave lower than usual, deep and sexy as hell. Her hands expertly made their way to Arizona's back reaching for the zip of her dress and pulling it down slowly. She looked straight into those darkened blue eyes as she pushed the dress off Arizona's pale shoulders, watching it drop to the floor. "Perfect," she sighed taking in the sight of the blonde in her underwear.

Arizona grinned seductively. "I think . . . there's still too many clothes," she husked, capturing Callie's bottom lip between her teeth. Her mouth moved from Callie's lips to her jaw line, then down her neck, nipping and sucking the soft flesh; while her hands made their way to her tanned back, fingers unhooking the red bra that was holding up two perfectly delicious looking breasts. She groaned as it dropped to the floor, admiring the sight infront of her for a second. Arizona was, and always had been, a boob girl, and Callie, well, she had good boobs - fucking glorious boobs. Callie made good use of Arizona's ogling by hastily removing the black silk bra that was covering her chest, throwing it to the ground. Then Arizona went to work; her hand kneading Callie's left breast; pinching and rolling her nipple between her fingers, whilst exploring Callie's right breast with her mouth; kissing and licking around her nipple, teasing, before taking it into her mouth. Callie arched her back and grabbed a fistful of blonde hair, moaning as she felt Arizona's moist tongue swirling her rock hard nipple, teeth pinching it gently, making her gasp in both pain and pleasure as her tongue soothed the spot right away. Feeling satisfied with Callie's response Arizona gave it one last pull with her teeth, a little harder, causing the brunette to moan louder this time and leaving it standing at attention.

Callie's chest was heaving as Arizona switched breasts, her hand taking over the wet nipple that had just left her mouth and vice versa. Her moans turned into pleas for Arizona to take her to bed, to take her right now; the heat between her legs throbbing, begging for release. Arizona didn't have to be told twice, with a seductive grin she crashed their lips together in a ferocious kiss, her tongue mapping Callie's mouth out with determined possession as they danced their way towards the bed, their hands roaming each other's bodies; gripping onto anything and everything. Callie's knees hit the back of the bed and she landed in a sitting position. Arizona crawled up onto her lap and pushed her back onto the mattress. She leaned down and kissed Callie hungrily and Callie returned the kiss, her hands sliding up the back of Arizona's pale thighs to her ass, swallowing her moans before slipping the pair of black panties she was wearing off her hips and as far down her legs as possible, letting Arizona kick them off. Her eyes now black with lust, raked over the unbelievably gorgeous and naked form in front of her, Arizona wearing nothing but the smirk on her face. Pale hands travelled down between their bodies, fingers hooking onto either side of Callie's soaking underwear. Biting her lip, Callie lifted her hips, allowing Arizona to drag them down her toned thighs and legs; her nails dragging against her skin as she pulled them completely off, letting them drop to the floor.

Arizona swallowed visibly at the sight of Callie spread out on the bed, stark naked, and placed a firm but passionate kiss on her lips, "I can't believe this is happening."

"Me neither," Callie answered, honestly. "But I'm so glad that it is," she smiled, lifting her head to kiss Arizona again.

Arizona laughed and closed the gap, parting Callie's lips this time and teasing her tongue with her own. Callie hummed her approval, opening her mouth and drawing Arizona's tongue in, using a hand to pull her down by the neck so she was pressed against her tightly; the gap between their naked bodies filled. They fit together perfectly. It felt so good. So, right.

Arizona snaked a hand down between their bodies, her fingers hungrily seeking Callie's clit and circling it teasingly, before travelling further south to play in the abundance of wetness she found. "You're so hot and wet for me Calliope," she whispered in Callie's ear, her hot breath sending a shiver down Callie's spine. No one ever used her full name in bed and hearing it gained an additional moan. Arizona licked a single trail from the bottom of Callie's neck to her pulse point, using her fingers to spread Callie's wet lips and sliding her middle finger through her folds as she said, "I love seeing you like this." She bit harshly before sucking on the delicate skin, marking her, "This hot and wet." She placed a kiss on Callie's lips, her tongue forcing its way into her mouth and swallowing her moans, "Just waiting to be fucked."

Callie's eyes rolled back into her head and a violent moan escape her luscious lips, "Please . . ."

Arizona's fingers teased her entrance, Callie gasping as she pulled them up and around her clit before pushing them back down, entering her completely, "Is this what you want?"

"Fuck, yes!" Callie moaned, her eyes shut and her head thrown back in ecstasy.

"You feel so good," Arizona said; her voice thick with lust as she slid her fingers in and out of Callie, deliciously slowly. "But, I've been dying to taste you."

Arizona kissed her way down the valley of Callie's breasts, then her toned stomach, leaving a trail of desire; blue eyes never leaving the lustful brown orbs staring back. She positioned herself between Callie's legs; her hair tickling Callie's inner thigh and breath teasing her heated core. She placed a brief kiss on a freckle that sat just above her core, breathing in the scent of her arousal, it was intoxicating. Callie whimpered, lifting her head to see what was taking so long but her head fell back down and her hips rose with a gasp as Arizona delved into her; licking her length and teasing her opening with her tongue.

"Arizona!"

That was the first time Callie had said her name that night, and her name had never sounded so good coming from someone else's mouth.

Encouraged by the moans of sheer ecstasy falling from Callie's lips, Arizona's tongue continued to explore every inch of her glistening folds, finding every sensitive spot, noting how she would react to each of them, trembling, squirming, chest heaving and hands gripping the sheets. She reveled in the fact she could bring this woman such pleasure and was addicted to her sweet taste. In no time she had Callie's body wound so tight that she thought she might snap with just a flick of her tongue. Callie gave herself over completely to the sensations Arizona was able to make her feel, her tongue burying itself deep inside of her, filling her so completely that she felt she was ready to explode; her nails clawed at Arizona's back before gripping a fistful of her blonde hair, desperate to hang on to something, anything, to keep her grounded. "Oh God, more. . ." she groaned through clenched teeth. Arizona knew exactly what Callie wanted and without having to ask she obligingly took the bundle of sensitive nerves into her mouth, sucking hard, whilst also sliding two fingers deep inside of her with ease, setting a pace. The room was filled with gasps, moans and curses as Arizona's fingers curled hitting that sweet spot over and over again, each thrust harder and deeper than the last. Callie's heart was racing, pounding against her chest and drumming in her ears as the start of her orgasm ripped through her entire body, leaving her shuddering and shivering around the blonde's magical fingers and tongue. Arizona didn't stop when she felt Callie's orgasm reach its peak, she continued to lick, suck and nibble furiously until a second wave crashed over her, leaving Callie even more breathless and panting harder than before.

Callie realized she might have been pulling at Arizona's hair a little too hard as her knuckles were now completely white, so she loosened her grip a little, admiring the scene in front of her. It was unbelievably hot, seeing Arizona's head between her legs, licking her painfully slowly, cleaning up every last trace of her orgasm. As if aware Callie's eyes were on her Arizona pulled her mouth away, looking up at the Latina. Her mouth twitched into a knowing smirk before she torturously slowly let her tongue peek out, giving her one last lick from the bottom of her core to the top, never breaking eye contact. Callie's eyes fluttered shut briefly and she let out a small whimper, her legs twitching ever so slightly. At that Arizona slowly made her way up Callie's body. "You are so beautiful," she sighed pushing back a stray hair stuck to Callie's sweaty forehead, admiring her face before leaning down and placing a brief but passionate kiss on her plump lips.

"Mmm," Callie moaned. Pulling back, she grinned mischievously, "I taste good on your lips."

Arizona growled, "You will be the death of me." She pulled Callie back in for a longer, more intimate kiss,

As the kiss became more heated Callie pulled away, "Let's test that theory, eh?" She was ready to flip Arizona onto her back but she stopped her.

"All good things come to those who wait . . ." Arizona teased. She knew it wouldn't take long for her own release to take over and she had other plans. "I want us to come together," she purred as she ran her hand softly over Callie's face, her neck, her breasts and down to her heated core. "I want to feel you against me," Callie instinctually opened her legs a little more giving Arizona better access. "I want to be as close to you as possible." Callie smiled as Arizona positioned herself so their centers connected, slowly rocking, creating a rhythm. "Fuck, you feel so good," she moaned to Callie, feeling their already sensitive clits pulsate together; causing more and more friction with each grind of their hips. Both women moaned and let out small whimpers as the urgency between them amplified and their cores got wetter. The slickness and pressure was enough to push them both over the edge and they reached their climax together; Arizona's quivering body landing on top of Callie's, folding in on her as she rode out the last waves of her orgasm; whilst Callie's teeth sunk deep into her shoulder.

Both bodies lay tangled together, chests heaving, heartbeats racing…

When their breathing returned to normal Callie kissed Arizona and flipped her over onto her back. "I think I've waited long enough," she growled, with a mischievous grin on her face, slowly kissing her way down Arizona's toned body. Burying her head between her legs she looked up and asked, "Don't you?" Arizona nodded vigorously, her eyes fluttering shut as Callie set about making her feel as good as she had.

After a few hours of worshipping each other's bodies and endless orgasms the two lay satisfied, sweaty and breathing heavily on either side of the bed.

Arizona panting, turned to face Callie, looking into her eyes, "That was-"

"Amazing," Callie breathed, placing a chaste kiss on Arizona's lips and pulling her into her arms so her head rest on her shoulder. "You are amazing," she repeated, making Arizona smile.

"We are amazing," Arizona corrected her.

A comfortable silence filled the room as their breathing stabilized, both appreciating the simplicity of the moment, just lying in bed together, holding each other - nothing else mattered in that moment.

"So what was your ex like? The one people were scared to have you in the same room with." Arizona asked, curious, her fingers nervously drawing small patterns on Callie's bare stomach.

"She was a smoking hot blonde, with these big blue eyes and dimples that would drive me crazy - one flash of those and I was gone. We met in high school and were instantly smitten. I loved her but my parents had a problem with me being gay and sent me away to boarding school. We never crossed paths again as much as I tried. She was my first, well everything . . ."

Silence filled the room, followed by a sigh, "Arizona, I missed you so much."

Both women were aware of the fact Callie would be boarding a plane in a couple of hours to head back to her life with her fiancé, leaving Arizona behind and popping the pretty pink bubble they had been floating in all night. Reality had been unkind to them in the past, ripping away their chances, both women resigned to a life without the other but now the impossible had happened and fate had brought them together.

"Please don't leave me again . . . Stay . . . Please. . ." Arizona pleaded; the heartbreak and desperation in her voice apparent as she lay in the arms of her one and only love; the love of her life - Calliope Iphegenia Torres.


	2. Timing Is Everything

**Chapter Two**

**Timing Is Everything**

* * *

_"Please don't leave me again . . . Stay . . . Please. . ."_

_Silence . . . _ She couldn't help the request that had rolled off her tongue, but it stung that it had created this awkwardness. This eerie silence between them that neither wanted to acknowledge. Closing her eyes, Callie brushed the back of her hand over Arizona's cheek and placed the most tender of kisses on her lips. She knew words would have to be exchanged and that they couldn't stay wrapped in each other's arms forever, so she untangled their limbs and rolled off the bed, slipping on one of the soft white bathrobes that hung on the back of the door.

"Are you regretting this?" Arizona asked, sighing as she sat up on the bed.

Callie turned to face her. The sheets were dropped to Arizona's waist and the subdued lighting made her look even more enticing; her blonde hair falling around her face and shoulders, the curls partially covering her exposed breasts. Arizona showed no hesitation or reserve about her nakedness, she had always been a confident person but Callie couldn't help but notice the look of uncertainty in her eyes, even as she sent her a brief smile. She looked so small sitting on the large bed all alone.

Slowly, mesmerised by her presence, Callie approached her and sat on the bed. "Arizona, I don't regret one minute of this," she assured her, handing over the spare bathrobe. "I could never regret spending time with you. It's just-" She paused for a moment trying to think of the right words, "I'm engaged, so this makes me a cheater. And . . . I'm not that person, you know." She sighed, trying to believe the words coming out of her mouth. She never thought herself capable of cheating before tonight, but when she saw Arizona all logic went out the window. She knew there and then she couldn't stop this from happening. And worse still, she didn't want to stop it from happening. There wasn't one ounce of regret in her body. She was that person.

Arizona looked on, observing Callie as she spoke but unable to get a read on her or what this meant for them. "Are you going to tell her?" she asked softly. Clearing her throat she nervously added, "About us?" She tried not to look hopeful but a small part of her was clinging on to Callie saying she had no regrets about their night together. She completely understood Callie's guilt for having cheated. Arizona wasn't exactly happy that she was 'the other woman.' She wanted to be the only woman. She didn't sleep with unavailable women. She wanted uncomplicated. Easy. Fun. Yet here she was, sitting on a bed with a mostly naked and very engaged Callie Torres, secretly hoping she would choose to stay here with her instead of going home to her fiancé.

Was it wrong? _Yes. _

Did she care at this precise moment and time?_ No._

It was messy, complicated, and serious. It was everything Arizona tried to avoid in her personal life. But she wanted Callie. She had always wanted Callie. Always loved her. She had lost her and managed to find her again. That wasn't some small coincidence. It was fate. They were meant to be together. She believed that.

Callie hesitated, biting her lip before she responded; "I'm going to have to . . ." Arizona nodded her understanding. Taking a deep breath, Callie averted her gaze and continued, "I can't stand in front of a priest and enter into a marriage based on cheating and lies."

Just like that the small ounce of hope was gone and Arizona felt an unbearable ache in her chest, as if her heart was bruised and damaged. She was surprised that one sentence could cause so much pain. "You're still going to marry her?" She asked, her voice shaky and full of emotion, despite her best efforts to remain stoic.

Callie watched as Arizona's eyes widened, her heart dropping in her chest as she saw various emotions swirl through them; love, hope, confusion, defeat, hurt, and pain. She looked down ashamed, not wanting to stare into those defeated blue eyes any longer. "Arizona," she breathed. "Please don't make this harder than it already is."

Arizona shook her head in disbelief, raising her voice slightly she replied, "This is hard - for me, this is hard."

"I know," Callie agreed sadly. "But I have this whole other life," she explained. "Do you not think I would love to just stay here with you and forget about everything, but I have responsibilities, commitments . . ."

"A fiancé," Arizona mocked.

"Yes, I'm getting married," Callie responded, trying to remain calm. This was not an easy choice for her to make, but she knew she couldn't just drop off the grid. Not with a fiancé back home worrying about her, waiting for her. She was a surgeon for Christ sake she couldn't just pack up and leave without a word. "I'm leaving. I need to . . ."

"No, you want to," Arizona corrected, her eyes narrowing, filled with fury.

"Arizona please, I don't want to argue with you," Callie said, voice firm but thick with emotion. "You know that I don't want to leave, deep down, I don't. Tonight has been amazing and I love- it's been amazing."

Arizona was stewing, and she knew her racing thoughts were purely emotion-driven, but she didn't care. She was strong, but she was still passionate. She felt things. And right now she felt angry, disgusted and used. In this moment she believed whole-heartedly that anger was better than the alternative; heartbreak, sadness and devastation. It was easier. So she was glad to go with anger. "One night stands usually are," she spat. "Nice, easy lay, with no strings attached."

Callie bowed her head, feeling shameful, "That's not what this was, this-"

Arizona scoffed without thinking it through, pissed and annoyed and frustrated. "It was a one night stand," she began. "One last fuck - a goodbye fuck, right?"

Callie's eyes flashed, reaching forward she put a hand over Arizona's, grazing it ever so slightly. "Arizona," she said softly, trying to be comforting. She knew that Arizona was angry and sad, but she also knew that was the only reason she was lashing out. 'Her' Arizona wasn't like this unless she was sad, she hated fighting and arguing. She was perky, annoyingly so at times, she was a morning person, she was a romantic, she refused to watch the end of sad movies preferring to think they ended happy for God sake. So Callie knew she was hurting. A lot.

Arizona pulled away she didn't want to look at Callie or feel her touch. It was comforting but it hurt at the same time. "You really should get ready," she said softly. "You have a flight to catch." Feeling tears well up in her eyes, Arizona lay back down on the bed and let out a deep sigh. She couldn't look into Callie's soulful brown eyes without tears threatening to spill, they were so full of hurt.

"Okay," Callie agreed sadly. "I'm uh, I'm going to go for a quick shower." She got up from the bed, turning her back to Arizona and heading for the bathroom.

* * *

Callie slipped into the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror, feeling nauseous. She had just told the woman she spent most of her life loving, wanting and crying over that she was going home to her fiancé. A decision she made with her head and not her heart, but she couldn't pretend. She had a life outside of this hotel room and that was her reality. As the small pools of water in her eyes threatened to spill, she turned on the shower and climbed inside, slowly breaking down as the water hit her face. It drowned out the noise of her violent sobs, each more heart-breaking and painful than the last.

She watched as the glass door of the shower slid open, ever so slowly, revealing a dishevelled looking Arizona. Her eyes never left the blue orbs staring back when a bathrobe hit the tiled floor, Arizona's naked form on full display. She took a step forward, entering the shower and closing the door behind her. Callie tried to suppress her tears but she wasn't fooling anyone, her eyes were puffy and her face drained. Arizona knew she was upset, "I'm sorry, Calliope." Her voice was laced with love and affection as she wrapped her arms around the taller woman, who buried her head into the crook of her neck and allowed the tears to continue to fall, hard and fast. "Me too." Callie replied, it was all she could manage.

They remained in that position for what seemed like hours; when in reality it was minutes. Showering after sex was supposed to be fun; being naked together, all lathered up and washing each other's body, but this was far from it. Arizona picked up the sponge and slowly started to wash Callie's body, washing away the evidence of their night, at least that's what it felt like.

She knew this might be the last time she saw Calliope naked and took her time, making a mental note of each of her features. She washed her broad caramel shoulders first; letting the sponge graze her soft skin. Then she moved onto her strong arms, lathering each individually, all the while never breaking eye contact. Both women remained silent the entire time, knowing this was a goodbye. Arizona let the sponge travel the length of Callie's body; from the valley of her ample breasts, down her stomach, until it reached the small freckle that sat just above the soft curls of her center. When they were younger it was common for Arizona to tease Callie about this; she found it adorable. 'One lone freckle lost in the wilderness,' she would say playfully, making them both laugh, but now it just made her feel sad. When she reached her core, the sponge grazed it ever so slightly, there was no sexual intent behind it and she quickly moved on to two toned legs, before getting Callie to turn her body to allow her to do the same to her back.

Her body was a wonder, when she had completely finished she placed a kiss on Callie's temple. She could feel tears begging to escape as Callie took the sponge from her and did the exact same thing to her.

* * *

After stepping out of the shower, Callie and Arizona got dressed in a comfortable silence, neither knowing what to say to the other. Callie had a car booked, ready to pick her up to take her to the airport.

"Arizona," Callie said, getting the blondes attention. "I'm really glad I saw you again."

"Me too," Arizona replied, smiling her best half-hearted smile.

"And I'm so sorry," Callie added, her voice breaking slightly.

"Let's not talk about it," Arizona began, shaking her head. "You told me repeatedly that you were only here for one night and that you were getting married. I knew. You were clear about that. I just- I guess I was so wrapped up in my own little bubble that I let myself forget for a minute."

Both women left the room, walking together down the hall, down the spiralled stairs until they got to the front door of the hotel. Callie's car was already there, waiting.

Callie exhaled deeply, "I wish things were different . . ."

"I know, so do I . . ." Arizona agreed, opening the car door. "And as much as I want to stand here and tell you what you are doing right now is a mistake, I won't. I realize you can't just abandon your life but you are walking away from me in the process. I will always love you. I have loved you from the day I met you and that hasn't gone away with time. Even if you were old and grey I would love you but I need to get on with my life. I can't keep stalling because deep down I think there is hope, so I'm taking this as a fresh start for me. You walking away right now, this isn't like before. This is a choice – your choice. I just hope it's the right one." With that she placed a chaste kiss on Callie's lips, as they parted she smiled gently. It was a sad smile. Then, she turned and walked away.

"Arizona?" Callie called, stopping her in her tracks as she turned to face her. "I lov-" she said sheepishly.

Arizona cut her off, "Don't say it." She didn't want to hear it. She knew Callie loved her but at this time it wasn't fair for her to express it, not when she was leaving. It didn't feel right.

Callie climbed into the back of the car, her head instantly falling to her knees as tears fell from her large grieving eyes, whilst Arizona walked down the path back into the hotel. She couldn't begin to wrap her head around what had happened in the past twenty-four hours. It was Callie who approached her, it was her who asked to dance, got her a drink, took her to her room, made her the happiest she had been in years, only to leave her feeling the worst she had felt in her life. This wasn't highschool all over again. This was a choice. The words came from her mouth. And, well, she walked away.

* * *

Callie walked through the front door of her apartment, dragging her bags behind her and dropping her keys into the bowl which sat on the table next to the door . She was greeted by a woman with blonde hair and blue eyes. It wasn't Arizona. "Hey, Callie," Erica said, smiling. "I missed you," she added, walking towards Callie and pulling her in for a hug. Callie noted how weird it felt, being held by Erica so tightly after spending the night wrapped in Arizona's arms. It was just so different now.

When Erica didn't feel any response she pulled away and looked at Callie's face. Callie managed to muster a small smile, trying not to look as miserable as she felt. "You don't look too good, are you okay?" Erica asked, noticing the lack of color in her face, the red puffy eyes and drained expression.

"I'm good," Callie replied sharply. "Sorry, I'm just tired," she lied, placing a brief kiss on the worrying woman's lips, hearing her let out a small moan at the contact.

"Mmm," Erica moaned. "I know something that might wake you up a little," she added suggestively as her mouth moved from Callie's lips to her jaw line, before slowly moving to her neck.

_Arizona._ That was the only thought going through Callie's head as she felt the warm lips on her neck and hands touching her. Her head fell back and eye's closed as she began to enjoy the contact, imagining it was not Erica but Arizona touching her, Arizona kissing her. She felt the strong hands remove her jacket, then make their way to the bottom of her top, tugging at it, pulling it up over her head, leaving her in her bra. Her eyes opened and she was brought back to reality, she was home and it was Erica currently stripping her of her clothes.

"Wait, stop . . ." Callie grumbled, Erica's lips still working on her neck.

"You want me to stop?" Erica whispered in her ear. "Do you really want me to do that?" She asked again, nibbling on her ear.

Callie's mind was all over the place: Erica, Arizona, then, now, everything was too much and she couldn't do it.

"Stop Erica! I said stop, for fuck sake!" She snapped, storming off into their bedroom and slamming the door shut behind her. Leaving her fiancé confused and alone in the middle of the living room, wondering what had went wrong.

* * *

After a couple of minutes Erica made her way to the bedroom and pushed the door open. She found Callie in bed and took a seat beside her. "I'm sorry Callie, I thought – I shouldn't have assumed you would be in the mood, especially when you told me how tired you were. I'm really sorry," she repeated. Her apology was heartfelt and Callie instantly felt guilty. This wasn't her fault. She hadn't done anything wrong.

"I'm sorry Erica," Callie said softly. "You didn't do anything. I'm just tired," she lied again.

"Well, I'm glad your back," Erica commented. "I missed you," she added, letting her thumb graze the caramel cheek in front of her. The guilt became too much and tears started to form in Callie's eyes. Here she was with a woman who loved her, her fiancé whom she had cheated on only hours ago. She had cheated on her and then had the audacity to come home and start an argument over nothing, over her wanting to be intimate, she didn't deserve that.

"I'm sorry Erica," Callie began, tears starting to fall from her eyes.

"Hey, it's okay," Erica said, comforting her. "It's nothing to cry about. C'mon," she exclaimed playfully, wrapping her arms around Callie.

"I'm so sorry," Callie repeated, trying to express some of the guilt she was feeling.

Erica climbed into her side of the bed, slipped under the sheets and wrapped her arms around the warm body beside her, trying to be comforting. "Let's just sleep," she suggested, placing a small kiss on the back of Callie's raven haired head.

Callie didn't know what to do. She knew she would have to tell Erica but she thought it might be best to wait until they had slept, by then her head would be a lot clearer and she could think straight. Both women closed their eyes and drifted off quickly, wrapped in each other's arms.


	3. Fate Conspires

**Chapter Three**

**Fate Conspires**

* * *

_Callie Torres had always believed there was only the type of love spoken of in fairy tales. The all-encompassing passionate love that manifests in sparks when you touch and butterflies when you kiss. Their mere presence causing your heart to beat frantically, so much so that you can feel it through your chest and because you are so finely matched, they feel it all too. It is the type of love left to fate and fate does not set up love to be unrequited – you are soul mates. It is a love that leads to marriage, to children, to elderly couples clasping hands whilst sitting on the front porch because it is meant to be. It's right and true and you feel it all with every fiber of your being._

_However as she grew older, she learned there is another love - a love borne from the need for a companion. It's a bond that's been nurtured. It begins in friendship and conversation and because the bond is strong you hope that if you take that next step the emotional attraction will overpower the awkwardness of the physical expression of that love. It's a love defined by 'I love you, but I'm not in love with you' and sometimes that becomes enough. You convince yourself it's not settling, that this is the way it was meant to be, that circumstances have changed and fate has realigned itself. Cupids arrow has given you a second chance and you would be a fool to turn it down. So you embrace it and become accustomed to it – it's enough._

_Callie had experienced both types of love. However, what was she to do when she met back up with the love of her life? Well if this were a fairy tale she wouldn't have hesitated. She would have ran back into her arms, unafraid of the consequences, declaring her love for all to hear but this was reality and the truth of the matter was she didn't run back, she ran away. She ran back to her current love who knew nothing of Arizona, well, for now…_

* * *

Callie woke up to a strong beam of light shining through the bedroom window, practically trying to blind her. She let out a low, feral growl and sighed, shutting her eyes to block out the intruding light. When she became aware of the pale arm draped around her waist she thought of Arizona. Excited, she turned onto her side to face the blonde but her smile faded into disappointment. She propped her head on to the palm of her hand and took in Erica's features. She wasn't breathtakingly stunning like Arizona, but she was 'hers' and she came to appreciate her looks, seeing a beauty that might not be apparent to others. A small smile grew on her face as she gently brushed some blonde hair out of Erica's face, causing her to shift slightly in her sleep. _How was she going to tell her she cheated on her?_

She glanced at the clock on the nightstand over Erica's shoulder, it was 9:40am. She had only slept for two hours. There were too many thoughts firing through her brain and she couldn't even begin to process them all, it made it hard to sleep. When she thought of Arizona she felt a familiar feeling wash over her. That's when it dawned on her, every single day Callie would feel like she had forgotten something and it would bug the life out of her it. The irritation would last right up until the end of the day, it was a nagging feeling she didn't know how to make go away but now she understood what it was. It was the empty space in her heart begging her to remember, the place buried deep within her that held on to Arizona and refused to let her go. The place it took her years to push to the back of her mind was unconsciously reminding her every day but she wasn't listening, she had Erica and they were engaged - she had moved on to some degree. She knew looking at Erica she didn't love her the same way as Arizona, it was different but she chose her - this was her choice. She had to try, she felt obligated after the six years they had spent in each other's lives, four as a couple.

She let out a deep sigh. "Are you watching me?" Erica mumbled groggily into her pillow, her eyelids still too heavy to open just yet. She groaned and stretched, forcing herself awake and gave Callie a small smile as her eyes opened. "Good morning, beautiful," Erica placed a gentle kiss on her soft lips before giving her another one on her forehead.

A smile crept on Callie's face and letting out an appreciative moan she whispered, "Good morning." She started to think about the woman in front of her. Erica was someone Callie grew to love, there were steps to their relationship and it wasn't always easy, she thought back to when they first met.

It was her first year as an intern and Erica was an attending; scratch that, the bitchiest attending at Seattle Grace. No one liked her at all, including Callie. She was a cold-hearted, scalpel hungry cardio god with the ego to match. She enjoyed humiliating interns and took particular pleasure in picking on Callie. She would give her scut or have her work on cases only to be told she couldn't scrub in at the last minute. It surprised her when she was selected for the first intern solo surgery but afterwards when it had went badly, Erica told her she was now the primary example of failure for the rest of the interns. Everyone accepted the crap Erica threw at them because she was the best cardiothoracic surgeon in the country. There was no one as skilled as her when it came to having a heart in their hands, ironic they all thought since she, herself, didn't have one.

Erica stared at Callie completely aware her mind was elsewhere. "What are you thinking about?" She asked the entranced brunette, who wasn't surprised by the question. Erica could read her like a book and it was painfully obvious there was a lot on her mind.

"You," Callie answered truthfully, making Erica smile cheekily. "When I first met you," she continued and the smile slowly faded, Erica averting her gaze for a moment.

She at least had the decency to blush and look ashamed for her past behaviour, "I was awful to you." Her fingers brushed up and down Callie's arm nervously as she apologized, "Sorry."

When Callie looked at Erica now she didn't associate her with her past self, she was still a shark professionally but she was different with her in their personal life, "I think I got over it, don't you?" she asked reassuringly.

With a smile Erica placed a chaste kiss on Callie's lips, "I would hope so." She lifted her hand and waved her fingers, the engagement ring sparkling in the sun shining through the window. Both women smiled and then Callie's smile slowly faded, as her mind travelled back to the moment her opinion of Erica began to change.

It was late one night after a particularly long and difficult shift when she wandered into what she had presumed was an empty on-call room. She found Erica crying, heart-breaking sobs escaping her, the kind that physically hurt you – she looked broken. Instead of swiftly exiting the room she closed the door and stood frozen on the spot. She expected Erica to scream or shout, to tell her to leave but she didn't. Instead she looked into her blue eyes and saw not only hurt but desperation, they were pleading almost. So she walked over and sat on the edge of the bed placing a hand on her back, rubbing circles trying to comfort her. It was awkward; neither uttering a single word but eventually Erica stopped crying. As Callie got to her feet ready to make her way to the door, trying to excuse herself as respectfully as possible, Erica grabbed her hand, "Stay. Please, just . . ." Despite her initial hesitation Callie stayed.

Distracted from her memories, she was forced back into the present. "I'm going to jump in for a shower. Care to join me?" Erica asked playfully. The truth of the matter was Callie didn't, she had knots in her stomach and she felt nauseous as she realized that her cheating was going to be a deal breaker for them.

Erica made her way to the door of the bathroom, patiently waiting for Callie to answer. "I – Uh, not this morning," she stuttered, smiling half-heartedly. Erica disappeared and Callie let her mind drift back to that night in the on-call room.

After Erica had revealed she was gay and Callie had got over the shock of the admission, she told her all about the source of her heartbreak. Erica had walked into her bedroom to find her girlfriend with her head between some 'slutty brunettes' legs. Apparently this had been going on for months and she was none the wiser. Callie instantly felt bad and the two forged a friendship from it, until soon enough they were inseparable, becoming best friends. Before then, Callie never viewed Erica as someone attractive, her personality shredding away any beauty of her outer shell. However, as they grew closer and she became aware of her more admirable qualities she slowly found herself drawn to her. They were treading the fine line between friendship and romance and in the end the latter won. Callie let her into her heart and although it took a while, they got there in the end.

Callie shot up in bed, burying her head in her hands and covering her whole face. "Fuck," she muttered into the empty room. She felt like the four walls were closing in on her ready to swallow her up and at this time she would happily let them. She had assured Erica she would never make her feel the way her ex did. Callie Torres would never cheat on anyone. Ever. But then there was Arizona Robbins. She wasn't just anyone. She was the one. The one that got away.

A debate started in Callie's head: _Does she tell Erica or not?_

She had lost all of her friends through the years thanks to Erica; many of them fellow surgeons at the hospital, unable to understand Callie's attraction to someone so wretched. Erica had earned the name 'Cut-throat Bitch' for a reason, she was ruthless. She had two of Callie's best friends; Izzie and George, fired from the program for breaking transplant protocol whilst attempting to save Izzie's dying boyfriends life. Callie begged Erica to turn a blind eye, claiming no one had to know but Erica was a stickler for rules and went to the chief anyway. Even going as far as naming Callie as a witness to the events, leaving her no choice but to tell the truth, which resulted in Izzie and George's dismissal and the demise of their friendship. It caused a massive argument between them but Erica's defence was their jobs were on the line, as well as the hospitals accreditation as a transplant center. It was hard to argue against the points she made when they were valid and affected not only the two of them but an entire hospital staff. Callie lost everything for their relationship; her friends, the trust of her co-workers - though they still respected her as a surgeon - and as of last night, Arizona. Erica was all she had left, she had been the only constant in her life for so long. She wanted to tell her the truth but she knew if she did and Erica magically decided to forgive her, she would want her to apologize and say she regretted it. The problem was Callie felt guilty for having cheated but she didn't regret it and couldn't deny that, to herself or her fiancé.

Her thoughts were interrupted when Erica emerged from the bathroom, fully clothed, "Hey lazy! Get out of bed." She strode over to the bed, swooped down, letting her curls cover the caramel face below and placed a quick kiss on Callie's cheek, before heading to the bedroom door. "Get up, I'm making breakfast and then I have to leave for work."

Groaning Callie rolled over under the covers, and then finally admitted defeat. A shaky hand ran through raven hair as she yawned and stepped out of bed. She would talk to Erica later. Yes, that was a good idea. She just needed more time.

* * *

_Arizona Robbins has experienced one kind of love in her life – true love. A love that over a decade later still claims ownership of your heart, a love that prevents you from fully moving on once that person walks out of your life. It leaves you feeling empty, with a hole in your heart that cannot be mended and wounds so deep others cannot heal them. Your idea of attraction, romance and passion become merely nights of need and want - meaningless sex with people you don't particularly care about. You just want to feel something, anything? As for trust and commitment, well a few people come along that could work out, if you would only give them a chance, but you don't. You can't let yourself get attached from fear of further hurt or pain and when you do, you make sure to cut if off or screw it up in some way so it can't get to that point. So where does that leave your life? On hold, unable to distinguish the past from the present, unable to move on from that one person who has shaped your life so thoroughly by being in it and even more so by not being in it. They have made you the person you are today and despite the scars they have left behind, you wouldn't take a single second of time spent with them back. They are a part of you._

* * *

It had been three extremely long days since Callie Torres had walked back in and out of Arizona's life and although she swore she would move on, the truth was she felt worse than ever. It dawned on her, cold and harsh, that she was not a priority to Callie and this snapped her back to the reality that was her life. What exactly was she doing with her life? She asked herself this question over and over again. She was a smart, beautiful, gifted surgeon at the top of her game yet she chose to spend the past three days being a self-pitying, broken-hearted loser. She knew she was better than this but she was hurting, seeing her again, only for her to walk away clarified she should move on with her life once and for all. She wanted to take time to mourn the loss, but the hope, that, she couldn't shake no matter how hard she tried, and she tried as hard as she could. She kept replaying the scene of Callie trying to tell her that she loved her in her head and cursed herself that she didn't let her say it.

Lying in her bed that she hadn't left in god knows how long, she stole a glance at her phone. She had put it on silent, cutting off all communication with the 'outside' world. She had umpteen missed calls and texts but she didn't care. She was glad her days off work coincided with her misery, it meant she didn't have to deal with people at all - she wanted to be alone. However, three days was a long time to avoid those who cared about her, so it was no surprise someone came looking.

She jumped as she heard a loud, urgent and frantic knock on the front door of her apartment. "Arizona," a man's voice shouted through the hard wooden door after receiving no response.

"I'm not home, just go away please," she shouted back not knowing if she would be heard.

"Arizona, open this god damn door right now before I break it down," the man yelled annoyed. She recognized the voice instantly, it was her best friend and she knew he wasn't kidding. She dragged her unwilling body out of bed and made her way down the hall to the front door.

"I mean it if this door isn't open on the count of three, I'm breaking it down. One . . . Two . . ." Arizona pulled the door open and the man flew through it landing on his ass. For the first time in days she laughed, she laughed until her sides hurt and it felt good.

Closing the front door she turned her attention to the man on the floor. "You don't know how grateful I am that just happened, Mark. I've needed something to laugh about." She said through fits of continuous laughter, grabbing the salt and pepper haired man's hands and pulling him to his feet.

"Well glad to be of assistance," he deadpanned. "So what's happening with you? You look like shit." He waved a hand up and down her body insinuating it was head from head to toe before adding, "No offence."

Playfully letting the back of her hand hit off Mark's chest she replied, "Thanks, none taking asshole." The two were used to mocking each other and enjoyed the witty banter that flowed so easily between them. They had an instant connection when they met in college and although many questioned it, what with Mark being declared a 'man-whore', there was nothing more to it. They were very brother-sister like, well, except for Mark acknowledging how hot she was when the opportunity presented itself, but he was only human.

"So, are you going to tell me what happened at the wedding?" Mark asked, putting two and two together. That was the last time anyone had heard from her. Rolling her eyes Arizona let out a sigh and walked back down the hall towards the bedroom, "Nothing. Nothing that matters anyway," she added, climbing onto the bed and slipping under the sheets that were still warm, her body easing into the indentations she had made earlier, making her extra comfortable.

Mark entered the room after her and took in the sight, "Sure doesn't look like nothing." The blinds were pulled down so the room was dark. Turning on the lamp that sat by the bed he noticed there were doughnuts on the nightstand and lots of tissues on the floor. "So you've been crying and comfort eating for no good reason?" He asked, taking a seat on the edge of the bed next to her. Looking into her large blue eyes he could see they were full of sadness and he instantly knew what this was about. "Arizona, you knew there was a chance she was going to be there. Did she talk to you?"

Arizona couldn't help the small nervous laugh that escaped her mouth, "I slept with her . . ." Her eyes filled up with tears, "I slept with her knowing she had a fiancé and I actually thought," she laughed again. "I thought that she would stay. Can you believe that? I expected her to just pack up her bags and stay with me. Isn't that just ridiculous?" She laughed some more and Mark let his thumb gently wipe away the tear running down her cheek. She was delirious, overcome with emotion and lack of sleep but she finally broke down.

Taking in the sight of his sobbing best friend, he pulled her in for a hug. After a few minutes he knew he had to do something to snap her out of this state, he decided he would distract her, "So that Robbins Method you boast about didn't do the trick?"

Arizona raised her head from his now tear soaked shoulder and growled. She was expecting warmth and sympathy, a little compassion. "Seriously?" she asked angrily, giving him a dirty look.

Mark's eyes were filled with uncertainty but he still had a smug grin on his face. "I don't doubt your skills or anything I'm just-" he was cut off by a small forceful hand hitting his chest, "Mark!"

"What?" he asked innocently, shrugging his shoulders.

"I mean it . . ." she raised a hand again giving him a warning.

Mark laughed. "Okay, sorry. I know you're upset. I just wanted you to stop crying," he admitted. "It's not like you to cry. Do you want to talk about it?"

Arizona scrunched up her face contemplating it. "Not really," she said with a shake of her head.

"You know, you should have let me come with you. I would have sorted this Torres woman out for you," he said, still annoyed that Arizona didn't let him attend the wedding as her plus one. He had only ever heard stories about Callie and the wedding was the only opportunity he would have had to meet her in the flesh.

"Trust me, after seeing her you would be putty in her hands. She told me she was engaged and I still couldn't help myself. She just looked so amazing and then when she spoke to me, I mean, I really didn't expect her to and I thought it was going to be weird but then . . . " Arizona began to ramble.

"She made the first move?" Mark interrupted.

"Yeah she approached me, I was way too nervous. I had resorted to smoking to try to calm my nerves, my heart was racing so fast and my palms were sweaty. I must have looked like a hot mess but then when she was beside me I was as calm as could be. It felt normal."

"So you eased back into some old habits and then after you had - you know - she just up and left? Not thinking about it as more than a one night sort of thing?" Mark questioned hesitantly, not knowing if he had spoken out of turn and it would upset Arizona.

"Well she was only here for one night, which we spent together, so obviously it was only a one night thing," Arizona explained. "Plus, she had to catch her flight. It's not like she could put her life on hold . . ." She trailed off before adding, "I get that now."

"Where was she flying to?" Mark asked, curious.

Arizona shrugged her shoulders, "Home, back to her life."

"Which is where?"

"I don't know, we didn't really . . ." she paused for a moment. "We, uh, didn't really ask much. We were both too caught up in actually seeing each other again."

"Did you at least try to get her number?"

Arizona looked to the floor, "No." It hadn't even crossed her mind to ask.

"What about Amelia, she was the bride, she would know... right?" Mark quizzed, trying to find any sign of hope for the pair.

"They are away on their honeymoon for a month and Amelia only recently got back in contact with Callie so I don't know how they've been communicating. It's fine though, it's for the best. I told her she made her choice and that I was done. I'm over it," she stated firmly. Not fooling anyone, including herself.

Mark scoffed. "Clearly," he exclaimed, his voice dripping in sarcasm.

"Shut up Mark!" Arizona scorned. "I am so over it," she repeated in a barely there whisper.

"Look, we want who we want, right?" Mark began, his voice solemn. "I know how you feel. Are you forgetting my only serious relationship was with a married woman? Trust me; you don't want to go down that road. It's messy. You were fine before the wedding and you'll be fine again. Things get better."

Arizona laughed, shaking her head, "How are things any better for you now than they were before?"

"I enjoy being single," Mark grinned. "And so do you."

"I do," Arizona agreed. "But, I don't know, I think I just want to find someone and settle down."

"You settle?" Mark let out a small laugh of disbelief. "You're longest relationship was about two years with Carly and even then you cut it off when she brought up the possibility of living together. You don't like relationships."

"I know but things are different now," Arizona explained. Carly was a nice girl, Arizona liked her a lot but at the time she couldn't commit to her so she woke up one morning and left. There was no real reason for it, she just felt it was getting too serious which scared her. It wasn't something she was proud of, messing with someone's feelings, especially someone who claimed they loved her, but she bailed. She was the only other person Arizona had ever met and thought 'What if?' There was a small hint of regret when she looked back but she didn't want to settle with someone and not be able to give them her all.

"Okay," Mark shrugged, dismissively. "Do you know you have messages on your answer machine?" he asked, changing the subject whilst walking over to the phone, pressing down the play button.

_Message One _the device states.

A loud nervous voice boomed through the device, "Hi, its Julie not heard from you in a while. Let me know your alive, okay?"

_Message Two _the device states.

The same female voice played and this time it was cheery, "Hey, Zona it's Julie again, hope everything is okay-"

"Zona?" Mark laughed, speaking through the rest of the message. "Looks like she wants to get serious with you, playing the worried girlfriend and checking up on you."

"No she doesn't," Arizona said, shaking her head. "She knows we were nothing serious it was just- just delete them all. Please?" She begged, not wanting to hear anymore.

"Whatever you say Zona-" he said smugly, emphasizing the nickname given to her by her sex buddy.

However, just as he was about to hit delete all. A deep voice filled the silent room, it belonged to a man. "Hello, Dr. Robbins. This is Richard Webber calling, Chief of Surgery at Seattle Grace Hospital."

Arizona jumped out of the bed, "Wait, wait, wait…" she pleaded grabbing Mark's hand away from the device.

"We are currently looking for a new Head of Pediatric Surgery and I spoke to Norman at Hopkins, who is a friend of mine. You come highly recommended. He said you are the best he has seen in a long time and we want the best. If you could call back if you are at all interested that would be great. I hope to hear from you soon."

_Beep. Message Four – _Mark hits pause.

"Seattle? That would be a change . . ."

"Mark?" Arizona began, laughing slightly. "You know that message was for me, not you."

His face lit up, "I know but I could be doing with a change of scenery too."

Arizona nodded her head, "This could be awesome."

"Awesome?" Mark asked, knowing that meant his friend was seriously considering it.

"Yeah awesome," Arizona repeated her dimples now on full display.

New city. New hospital. New job. New people. A new life.

Yes, this was exactly what Arizona Robbins wanted - _A fresh start._

* * *

_Fate does not set up true love to be unrequited. It does however, sometimes, have a cruel sense of humor. Giving you the thing you always wanted at the worst time possible, throwing you into a current that's stronger than you are. This leaves you two options: sink and take not only you but others down with you or swim to try to survive. Fate, only takes you so far, the rest is up to you..._


	4. Closing the Door

**Chapter Four**

**Closing the Door**

* * *

Arizona had been warned about how bad the weather could be in Seattle, but so far she had no complaints. She loved the feel of the cool breeze on her face, softly blowing her blonde curls and found the warmth created from the overcast sky oddly comforting. She was done clinging to the past; letting go of it didn't mean she cared any less, she still cared like crazy, but it was something outwith her control and there was no point fighting it. What she could control was her future, and this was it - Seattle Grace Hospital.

Today was a formality. She was here to meet with Chief Webber, check out the facility and sign her contract - if she was happy with what the hospital had to offer.

"The usual?" Mark asked, tilting his head in the direction of the small coffee cart sitting just a few feet away.

Arizona nodded her head. "Yes, please," she answered, smiling.

After a few moments, she accepted the small plastic cup from Mark and brought it to her mouth, taking a sip of the burning hot liquid and hissing when it scalded her tongue. Her eyes peered over the top taking in the sight of the hospital she would come to know as her home away from home. It was an intimidating structure with many levels, mainly composed of large glass panels, metal and stone. There were green trees and small wooden benches on either side of the path leading up to the large automatic doors.

"Robbins, let's go," Mark declared. His voice nothing more than a whisper to her as she remained in her trance like state. "Earth to Arizona!"

She jumped, startled. The sound of Mark's raised voice snapping her back to reality. "Ah—yeah. Sorry, let's go," she smiled at him, falling into step by his side as they made their way down the path towards the hospital, coffee in hand. "So, you really think you're going to charm your way into a job?"

Mark looked down at her, a smirk on his face. "Of course," he replied with a shrug of his shoulder. "I'm the best plastic surgeon out there."

"Wouldn't be too sure about that," Arizona teased with a mildly skeptical look on her face.

"I'm the best and you know it," Mark said smugly, grinning at her. "That along with my irresistible good looks makes it hard for people to say no to me."

Arizona rolled her eyes dramatically and they both let out a small laugh before falling into a companionable silence. As they reached their destination, the automatic doors slid open, revealing the usual hustle and bustle of a hospital lobby, filled with patients, nurses and doctors. They approached the nurses station and Mark leaned over with a smug grin on his face looking at the red-head sat behind the desk. She caught him eyeing her and smiled. "Can I help you?" She asked, blushing. He went to open his mouth but before he could say anything he heard a deep and familiar voice from behind.

"Dr Robbins!" Arizona turned to face the man who had yelled her name and her lips curved up into a large smile, her dimples on full display. "I'm glad you made it," Chief Webber said, extending a hand. "Welcome to Seattle Grace."

"Thank you sir," Arizona replied, accepting his hand with a firm shake and large smile. "I'm excited to be here." His dark brown eyes then drifted to the man by her side so she introduced him, "This is Mark Sloan."

Chief Webber shook his hand. "Sloan. . . the best plastics guy on the East Coast, right?" Mark nodded his head and nudged Arizona with his elbow in an, 'I told you so' like fashion.

"This is Dr. Altman, Trauma," the Chief said, introducing the woman standing by his side. "She runs the ER so you'll be seeing a lot of her. She will give you a tour of the hospital and then we can discuss your contract. We are excited to have you Robbins." Arizona smiled.

He then turned to Mark, "Now Sloan, I don't suppose there is any chance of me talking you into accepting a job here, is there?"

Mark smirked. "I think it's definitely worth discussing," he replied, raising an eyebrow at Arizona.

The Chief's smile widened, "Well Altman, if you want to make sure Dr. Robbins gets a good look at our facilities, I can talk to Mark." With a nod of Dr. Altman's head the two men walked down the hall, leaving the two women alone.

Arizona's eyes raked up and down the stranger standing in front of her. Dr. Altman was tall and thin, with dirty-blonde hair, her hazel eyes were warm and welcoming and her smile bright. "Hi. I'm Teddy," she said extending a hand.

Arizona clasped the warm hand with a smile on her face, "Arizona."

"So Arizona, what brings you to Seattle?"

"Life . . . and a job offer," Arizona replied. "It was perfect timing."

Teddy smiled, "Well lucky for you and the hospital then." Her smile was infectious and Arizona couldn't help but smile back. "Okay, let's walk and talk. I'll give you the grand tour of the place, just be prepared to be amazed." She said sarcastically, causing them both to laugh.

"Where to first Teddy?" Arizona asked optimistically.

"I think it's only right to start with Peds," Teddy said glancing over her shoulder. "Don't you?"

"Yay!" Arizona smiled. "Super idea."

Teddy laughed, "Your personality really does suit your specialty" Arizona gave her a questioning look and she explained, "I mean you're perky. It's good though the kids in the pediatric ward could always use a little fun and positive energy. Anything to make their day a little better." Arizona smiled and decided there and then she liked Teddy.

* * *

Teddy showed Arizona each department, filling her in on who was in charge of each. Their conversations were seamless, flowing easily from professional to personal and back again, soon enough they were laughing and chatting like old friends. However, they were rudely interrupted when they entered the Cardio wing.

"Cardio, you'll mostly be dealing with Dr. Hahn she's in charge." Teddy's face contorted as she said, "She can be a little-"

"Teddy!" A voice yelled. Arizona looked up and caught sight of an angry Asian woman heading towards them at a hurried pace.

"Oh god, brace yourself for this," Teddy warned, a faint smile playing at the corners of her mouth.

"I'm going to kill her," Cristina said through gritted teeth. "Hahn is driving me insane. I swear I am going to kill her Teddy. It's the only way I'll actually get my hands on a heart and it will be hers."

"First breathe," Teddy instructed. "Second, I think she's going through a hard time just now."

"No, I'm going through a hard time!" Cristina declared, outraged. "I haven't seen a heart in weeks. Weeks! "

"I think there might be trouble in paradise," Teddy stammered awkwardly, her voice reduced to a whisper. "Anytime I've seen her this week she's been bitchier than usual."

"Maybe I should go speak to her lady lover and tell her she needs to start putting out because it's affecting my education and sanity. I need to operate. I will not be persecuted over an orgasm . . . or lack of. "

Teddy and Arizona burst out laughing. "Only you could make someone else's sex life about you," Teddy commented. "Maybe you should try talking to her about-"

Cristina scoffed, cutting her off, "C'mon who are you kidding, talking to her is like talking to a brick a wall." She then turned to the blonde by Teddy's side with a confused look on her face, "Who are you?"

"Arizona Robbins, she will be taking over Dr. Kenley's position. Well hopefully . . ." Teddy said with a smile. "And this is Cristina Yang, scalpel hungry resident who is being denied entry to her natural habitat."

Cristina shrugged off the introduction. "I'm glad this is all so hilarious to you," she snapped, glaring daggers at Teddy. "I don't even know why I am here anymore. Ever since Burke left-" She was interrupted by the sound of her pager going off. Her hand instinctively flew to her hip to check who it was from, "Yes! 911 from Hahn. She better let me scrub in." With that she scurried off down the hall without even a simple goodbye.

Arizona turned to face Teddy awkwardly, "So . . . you were saying about Dr. Hahn?" Both women laughed.

Teddy took a glance at her watch, "Oh Crap! We better get you back to the Chief." She walked Arizona back to Chief Webber's office, opening the door. "It was nice meeting you Arizona," she smiled.

"You too," Arizona replied as she watched Teddy disappear out of the room, she had made a friend and the thought made her beam with happiness.

"Arizona take a seat," Chief Webber said motioning to the spare seat next to Mark. "I hope you liked what you saw?"

Arizona smiled, "Yes Sir. It was very impressive, this truly is a great facility."

"Glad to hear it," the Chief said with a nod of his head. "Seattle Grace is a teaching hospital so we put emphasis on the future, that's why we are the third best surgical residency program in the country. We are proud but we always strive to be better. We are not afraid to take risks with our surgeries and we urge our surgeons to take part in ground breaking clinical research. We want to move forward and make a change, and to do that we need the best surgeons to pass on their knowledge. You are the best and I would be honored to have you both on my staff."

He continued filling them in about the hospital and then went through paperwork with them. It was decided they would both start in two weeks. That would give Mark time to find someone to take over his practice and let Arizona work her resignation at Hopkins. After saying goodbye the two exited the office and made their way out of the large glass building.

* * *

Everything was perfect. The air smelled sweet thanks to the vanilla scented candles scattered around the room, flickering in the dark and setting the mood. The kitchen table was set beautifully, on it sat two plates of delicious looking food, a bottle of red wine accompanied by two wine glasses and two sets of cutlery. The problem was there was only one person.

Erica pushed the cushioned chair she was sitting on back, standing and letting out a sigh as she blew out the candles she had lit. It was getting late and the food she had prepared was cold. For the past hour she had picked at the food on her plate, finding she had lost her appetite and was more interested in having a couple of glasses of wine. She lifted her plate along with Callie's untouched plate and cleared away the leftovers, what a waste she thought to herself. Afterwards, she proceeded to wash the dishes and clear everything else off the table, leaving no evidence. She then turned off the lights and retreated to the bedroom, unzipping the black dress she had put on, pulling it up over her head and changing into her pajamas. She pulled back the comforter and climbed into bed alone, this was definitely not what she had planned tonight.

She didn't know what on earth was going on with Callie but for the past week she had been acting a little off. It wasn't that she was being cold, she just wasn't being herself and Erica felt like she had hardly saw her. In the mornings Callie was waking up first, showering and heading to work before she had even stepped out of bed. This was definitely not her, she was not a morning person and never had been. In work she seemed to be the busiest she had ever been. It wasn't uncommon with their profession but they always made time for each other, just not this week apparently, and at night she was staying late charting. It was clear she was avoiding her for some reason. Even when they did see each other few words were shared and even less intimacy, except for a small peck on the cheek, or a small reassuring squeeze of the hand.

At first she shrugged it off thinking it might be best to give her some space but then she decided enough was enough. That's why tonight she had arranged for them to have a nice meal and talk. There was clearly something on Callie's mind and her patience was wearing thin, she wanted to get to the bottom of it. Not once had Erica felt like Callie was hiding something from her in their relationship but her strange behavior was sending her mind into overdrive and her imagination was going wild. It wouldn't be the first time someone who claimed to love her had cheated on her and no matter how many times she told herself Callie would never do that, she couldn't help the warm, dull feeling in the pit of her stomach that just wouldn't go away. She had doubts. Rolling over onto her side, she looked at the empty space beside her, usually occupied by the beautiful Latina. A tear fell onto the silky pillowcase as she closed her eyes begging sleep to take over her body and put her mind at ease.

* * *

Callie found herself caught in a web of lies. She had never thought of herself as a liar but this week proved her wrong. Since spending the night with Arizona all that seemed to roll off her tongue were lies. They were mounting up and she was sure it would only be a matter of time before Erica would snap. Maybe that's what she wanted, her to walk away, that way she wouldn't have to feel guilty.

She was meant to be having a romantic night in; a meal, some wine and conversation. However she had been doing everything she could to avoid Erica, so yet again she phoned at the last-minute and said she had to work late.

_Lies..._ Tonight, like the previous night, she found herself not in the hospital charting but walking through the strong wooden doors of the small isolated bar she had found a block away from Joe's, the usual hangout for the hospital staff.

"Back again?" a voice behind the bar asked as she took her seat. "The usual?" She nodded her confirmation. Her plan was to drink until her body and mind were numb enough for her to go home to Erica, slip into bed and sleep it off.

"You know, you seem to hold your liquor well," the bartender stammered out, placing the shot of tequila down in front of her. "I mean I've noticed you in here a lot this week. You seem... Have you had a bad day?"

"You could say that, more like a bad…I don't know, week? Maybe even a bad life. I'm not quite sure yet but there's definitely a reason to drink," she downed the drink that had been placed in front of her slamming the empty glass on the wooden bar.

"Do you want to talk about it?" the bartender inquired, picking up two glasses and pouring more tequila. "This one's on me," the glass slid into Callie's hand and she smiled.

She watched as the bartender picked up the other glass and downed the liquid. "Are you allowed to drink when you're working?" She asked laughing, knowing the answer was mostly likely no.

"I don't know but it makes the job that bit more fun. I'm sure my boss won't mind." Callie raised a concerned eyebrow. "Anyway, as I was saying feel free to hit me with your problems. I'll most likely have forgotten them by tomorrow." They both laughed. The week Callie had spent sitting at the bar, drowning her sorrows, she had never took notice of who was serving her but now she instantly felt at ease in their presence, they oozed a certain calmness that instantly washed over her.

She was initially hesitant about opening up and talking to a stranger about her problems, but then she decided she had to get everything off her chest. She didn't have anyone else to talk to and if someone was willing to take the time to listen then why not let them. "What do you think about cheating?" Callie asked. Her voice a barely audible whisper and her eyes surveying the room to make sure no one had heard what she had said.

The bartender looked at her and inhaled deeply, deciding to give an honest answer. "Been there, done that and now I'm single. I mean I don't condone it but sometimes things happen that you can't help and you're not exactly proud of yourself . . . You can't change the past though, only the future right?" The bartender replied, hoping that was an acceptable answer and one the brunette could relate to.

"I guess. I cheated on my girlfriend… I mean fiancé a week ago and haven't told her." Before she knew it Callie was telling her whole life story to this stranger, who didn't judge her, just listened. They spent the night getting to know each other, swapping stories, laughing and drinking. Soon enough this bartender knew more about her than anyone else in her life. They knew that her family had disowned her when they failed to convert her sexuality, that Erica had managed to run off all of her friends and that she had let go of Arizona. She found comfort in being able to confide in someone, it had been a long time.

"Look, you drinking as much as you can to make yourself feel good is definitely not the answer. You said she knows there is something going on, so she has most likely considered the possibility of you cheating on her. Confirming it is going to make her do one of two things. One: Leave you, which you are already trying to make her do by sitting here instead of being at home with her. Two: Forgive you but give you shit for it. Either way you have one pissed off fiancé on your hands. Talk to her, you've already lost everything else don't lose your sanity over it."

Callie raised the rim of the glass to her lips before tilting it back and swallowing it. "You're right."

"Of course I'm right." The bartender smiled. "Now, you need to get the hell out of my bar because I was meant to start closing up ten minutes ago." They both laughed as Callie looked around to find the bar empty and then she looked down at her watch.

"Did you say my bar?" Callie asked surprised. "And I'm sorry… Um…" she paused realizing she didn't know the bartenders name.

"Addison," the woman smiled, showing her sparkling white teeth and extending a hand. "And yeah I own this place. I haven't been around in a while though, but I'm back for good so don't be a stranger." That would explain why Callie had failed to notice the red-head before now. She was beautiful, tall and thin with pale skin, red lips and piercing blue eyes.

Callie accepted her hand and gave it a tight squeeze, "I'm Callie. It's nice to meet you Addison and thanks for um, everything."

"No problem," Addison replied, walking Callie over to the large wooden doors to say goodbye. "Like I said, you're welcome here anytime," she added with a smile on her face.

Callie smiled back, waving her hand as she walked through the doors into the night. When she entered her apartment she was met by the scent of burned vanilla candles and as she walked into her room she saw the black dress she loved to see her fiancé in hanging on the door. Letting out a sigh she changed her clothes and slipped into bed, careful not to wake Erica. As she drifted off she couldn't help but think about how bad she was fucking things up, first with Arizona and now with Erica.

* * *

The next morning Erica woke and rolled over to Callie, wrapping her arms around her. "Good Morning," she sighed.

Callie turned around, giving a hesitant smile, her eyes still closed. "Hmm, what time is it?" She mumbled, a free hand reaching out for the clock on the bedside table.

Erica placed a small kiss on her caramel shoulder then buried her nose into her raven hair and gave it a loving sniff. She didn't smell like her usual sweet self. "You smell like tequila." She declared, sitting up on the bed, pulling her arms away from the warm body beside her. "I thought you were working last night?" Just like that her fears and insecurities were at the front of her mind.

Callie's eyed snapped open. "I, um-" _Shit..._

"No wait, before you start please let me say something." Erica interrupted, looking down at her lap. "I know I'm not a likeable person. I've never been one for making friends easily and romantically my life has been a train wreck…well before you. I tell people what they don't want to hear, I'm fiercely independent and I don't like people getting too close." She took Callie's hand in her own. "But none of that mattered when I met you. I let my walls down, you were the first real friend I'd had in a long time." She looked up at Callie. "Then I fell for you." She took a deep breath. "When we kissed for the first time, I knew you were it for me. You picked me up when I was down and fixed me Callie. I love you. I've never loved someone as much as I love you and I don't want to lose you but lately you've been acting off with me. So please just be honest. I need you to tell me. What is going on?"

_Silence… _Callie felt a sudden tightening in her chest that threatened to burst. It felt like someone had punched her in the gut and left their hand inside, her mouth opened and closed multiple times, but no sound came out.

Finally she took a deep breath. "Erica I- I slept with someone else," she announced in a whisper, then closed her eyes and waited for the explosion. After a minute, when nothing happened, she opened them again. "Erica?"


	5. Dissecting a Moment

**Chapter Five**

**Dissecting a Moment**

* * *

Our lives are made up of years, weeks and days; yet each and every one of these measures of time is outweighed by the defining moments in our life. The moments where time ceases to exist, they offer us insight; inspiration and ideas that can make our lives everything we have ever hoped, or turn our world upside down. They are memorable.

Erica's declaration of love was definitely one of those moments for Callie.

_"No wait, before you start please let me say something." Erica interrupted, looking down at her lap. "I know I'm not a likeable person. I've never been one for making friends easily and romantically my life has been a train wreck…well before you. I tell people what they don't want to hear, I'm fiercely independent and I don't like people getting too close." She took Callie's hand in her own. "But none of that mattered when I met you. I let my walls down. You were the first real friend I'd had in a long time." She looked up at Callie. "Then I fell for you." She took a deep breath. "When we kissed for the first time, I knew you were it for me. You picked me up when I was down and fixed me Callie. I love you. I've never loved someone as much as I love you and I don't want to lose you but lately you've been acting off with me. So please just be honest. I need you to tell me. What is going on?"_

To Erica, Callie Torres was the love of her life.

However to Callie, Erica was not the love of her life she was someone she learned to love - it wasn't instant. When they met she hated her. When they kissed for the first time it was because they were drunk, and as much as she loved her, she had loved someone more – Arizona Robbins.

She realized when the words left Erica's mouth that she had experienced everything she had, just not with her…

* * *

_"I've never been one for making friends easily but none of that mattered when I met you. I let my walls down. You were the first real friend I'd had in a long time."_

It was the first time Callie had ever saw Arizona, she was in the library sitting by herself – her blonde hair dangling slightly in her face as she read from a book. She couldn't keep her eyes off her which caused her to bump into a small wooden table, letting out a loud gasp of pain and making the group of girls walking past giggle. This brought Arizona's attention to her, she instantly blushed when she noticed and avoided eye contact, staring at the floor.

This was typical Callie, she was awkward in high school. She was the quiet nerdy type guys secretly had a crush on because she was hot without even trying. She was going to walk away and save herself the humiliation of having to face the girl but looking up she caught a glimpse of her. The first thing she noticed was her eyes. Those big, blue eyes peering over the top of the book she held in her hands; their shape, their color, they were sapphire, warm and welcoming. She noticed everything about them, and getting lost in the hypnotic powers they seemed to yield found herself walking towards the blue eyed stranger. She pulled out the seat across from the blonde, grabbing her books from her bag and laying them on the table, smiling gently before the other girl averted her gaze.

Arizona couldn't contain the smile that formed on her face when she caught sight of Callie, though it was hidden behind her book. She was very aware of the fact she liked girls and had been for some time, but at the age of fifteen she hadn't actually experienced being in a relationship with another girl or even having kissed one for that matter, so she wasn't openly claiming to be a lesbian. However, she had never seen a girl as stunning as this, there was an instant attraction. Callie was tall, make up free with naturally smooth caramel skin, long raven hair pulled back that drew attention straight to her large chocolate-brown eyes, and she had curves in all the right places. She was thankful this vision had sat in front of her, the problem now however, was any hope of studying went out the window the minute she did.

Callie's heart was beating fast, she was sure the hush of the library only amplified the sound, making others aware of it. She had never reacted this way to anyone – male or female. She had never had a boyfriend or even kissed another person. It wasn't that the opportunity hadn't presented itself. It had, but she wasn't interested in any of the boys that liked her. Her older sister pointed out to her several times that it was weird at her age to have never had a boyfriend but Callie took it in her stride knowing she would eventually fall for someone. That someone she assumed would be male. This girl though, there was definitely something about this girl.

She opened her book and read the same page about five times before realizing she couldn't focus. "So, do you always spend lunch in here? I-I've never seen you before," she stuttered, getting Arizona's attention. She put her book down and Callie was able to take in her features. She was beautiful in every way, everything from her bright, golden curls to her brilliant blue eyes, and her radiant smile.

"I'm new," Arizona began, her voice vibrant and full of life. "I just started this week actually," she smiled. Callie's eyes widened and she let out a sigh of appreciation as two dimples emerged on Arizona face, one on each cheek. It didn't go unnoticed. "Are you okay?" Arizona asked, giggling slightly.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Callie replied, blushing. "I'm Calliope by the way." She extended a hand, gaining a little confidence, "I mean, Callie, Torres."

Arizona looked down at Callie's hand for a moment before taking it in her own and shaking it with a smile on her face.

"Arizona," she said, brightening a little. "Robbins."

As their hands met for the first time they felt something they hadn't felt before; it was like a spark. A spark of chemistry and compatibility, a flash of clarity letting them know that this was the time and this was the person, but it was up to them to act on it, to let go and let it be.

Lost to the moment they were unable to part their hands until Callie playfully asked, "Can I have my hand back?" She stunned herself by adding, "Not that I'm not enjoying this but . . ." _Was she flirting?_ Arizona seemed shocked by her little flirtation to and Callie quickly smiled before looking away with an extremely light blush on her cheeks.

Deciding to capitalize on the moment and put the nervous looking girl at ease Arizona smiled and said, "Sorry, I guess I was enjoying it a little too much as well." Callie returned the smile, feeling relieved that Arizona felt good about whatever it was that had just happened between them.

"So Arizona, do you want to go get some lunch?" Callie asked, the question slipping from her mouth before she even had time to think about. Arizona raised a questioning eyebrow. "You know, obviously you need to eat and I need to eat so we could do that together unless you have already ate then it wouldn't make much sense-" Callie explained nervously, ending with an awkward smile and internally kicking herself for being so uncool in front of the girl she found herself enamored by.

Arizona looked into Callie's eyes that were trying their best to avoid direct contact, shifting from her to pretty much anything else in the room. She wanted to say yes but then her attention was drawn back to the books in front of her, "Well I was going to stay here and study a little. I feel behind because we didn't do this book at my last school . . ."

Callie jumped the wagon and interrupted her, "That's totally fine. I was just thinking since you're new and all you could be doing with a friend but I'm sure you've already met people. I mean you look like _that_ so you're probably a cheerleader or something who could hang out with whoever you want-" she was hushed by a pale finger covering her mouth.

"Are you always like this?" Arizona asked, removing her finger from Callie's lips and sitting back down on her seat, allowing Callie to catch her breath.

Callie's reply came out at lightning speed, "Only when I'm extremely nervous. I'm not really out there socially and I just asked you to sit with me at lunch so that's sort of a big deal but I always come here by myself and study at lunch so I understand why you wouldn't want to. God, I'm rambling again," she laughed, shaking her head and bringing her hands to her face.

Arizona found her nervous rants adorable and laughed along with her. "Well, I'm flattered," Arizona began, voice sincere. "I've been asked on a few occasions to sit with different groups of people at lunch but you're the only one who has caught my attention," she smiled widely flashing her signature dimples.

Callie's face lit up. "Is that a yes, you'll have lunch with me?" she asked hesitantly, seeking assurance.

Arizona started gathering her work into a neat pile, "That's a definite yes Calliope."

Callie smiled, her face was bright and hopeful as she asked, "So, we can be friends?" She didn't have many friends because she was so focused on her studies.

Arizona packed her belongings into her bag and replied, "I would hope so . . . unless you get fed up of me." Her eyes, full of warmth, locked with Callie's letting her know she wasn't planning on going anywhere, anytime soon.

"I can't see that happening." Callie assured her, scooping her stuff into her bag with a large goofy grin on her face.

"Awesome, we'll make great friends." Arizona said cheerily, walking over to Callie.

"We will." Callie added, though it came out as more of a question.

"Oh yeah," Arizona smiled. "I'm an awesome friend." Now side by side they walked toward the library exit. "Oh and Calliope," Arizona said in a serious tone as if this news was going to be life changing. "I'm definitely not a cheerleader . . ." Callie laughed as they both walked out of the library towards the cafeteria, the heavy wooden doors slamming shut behind them.

* * *

_"I fell for you…" _

Seeing her best friend upset Arizona followed her into the bathroom next to the gym, approaching the only stall that was locked. "Hey, are you okay?" She asked through the wooden door.

Callie heard the familiar voice, the concern apparent and more tears threatened to spill. "I'm fine. I'm just doing the toilet," she lied. "Give me a minute, please." Arizona could hear the hurt in her voice.

Knocking on the stall door she said, "Open the door. I know you're upset." She received no response but could hear Callie sobbing. "Calliope Iphegenia Torres! Do not make me climb over this stall," she added in her best authoritative voice. Still nothing.

Arizona walked into the stall next door and stood on the bin, her hands grasping onto the top of the stall wall. Callie looked up and saw white knuckles, ""Arizona! What are you doing?"

The next thing she knew Arizona's head appeared. "What? I warned you," she said in a serious tone.

"Are you crazy? Get down from there." Callie replied, worried she would fall.

Arizona pushed herself up further, throwing a leg over so she was sitting on top of it. "If you say so," she smiled.

Callie's eyes widened. "Don't you dare . . ." she warned, aware Arizona was about to jump down into the stall she was in, but it was too late, Arizona was now standing in front of her. "Can we talk now?"

Callie's face dropped before they both burst out laughing. "What if I was doing the toilet?" she asked seriously.

"It was a chance I was willing to take," Arizona responded nonchalantly.

"You are crazy," Callie laughed. "You know that?"

"You say crazy. I say awesome." Arizona grinned. "Besides, I had to make sure you are okay." She paused for a moment. "Are you going to tell me why you were crying?"

"I wasn't-" Callie lied, she was fooling no one.

"Callie." Arizona said in a stern voice, every inch of her body projecting stubbornness. She wasn't going to drop it and Arizona only ever called Calliope by her shortened name when she was angry or frustrated.

Temporarily beaten, Callie looked up at her friend with a sigh. "I like someone . . ."

"Okay, you like someone."

"No, you don't understand. I like, like someone," Callie said slowly, looking at Arizona.

"Well that's good, isn't it?" Arizona held herself stiffly at the words, trying to look unaffected by the idea of Callie liking someone.

"I thought so but I - I think they might be interested in someone else," Callie stuttered, looking to the floor.

"Why would you think that?"

"They-" Callie didn't look up, her eyes firmly locked on the tiled floor. "They were talking to them," she explained, sounding defeated.

"Callie, people talk." Arizona let out a small laugh. "People talk all the time, it doesn't mean they like each other."

Callie's eyes flicked up to meet Arizona's, "I just – I've never liked someone like this."

"Well, you should tell them."

"You're right." Callie paused. "When should I tell them?"

"We could try to find them before our next class because I know what you're like, if you have any more time you'll overthink it and back out." She laughed as Callie lightly nudged her with her elbow. "Just do it fast, like ripping off a band-aid."

"Ripping off a band-aid," Callie repeated. "That'll be easy."

"Yeah, now let's go." Arizona turned and reached for the lock on the door.

"Wait," Callie said softly, lightly grabbing her arm before she could unlock the door. Arizona turned to face her looking into her soulful brown eyes, nervousness present.

She took a deep breath before continuing. "I saw you talking to Joanne and I know that she's gay and you like girls. I mean I get it, she's a tall redhead with massive boobs and a tiny waist but you can't like her because I've not had a chance to tell you how I feel about you yet. I like you Arizona." Callie scared herself with the admission, she wasn't gay or at least she didn't think she was before she met Arizona. She couldn't believe that she just outright said it. She smiled feeling relieved, a heavy weight lifted from her chest and then she realized she was in a toilet stall with her best friend, whom she had just told she liked. She was almost too afraid to look Arizona in the eye but she couldn't avert her gaze.

Arizona stood there, wide-eyed and slacked jawed for a second, and then those dimples Callie loved appeared on her face. "You do?" She asked, her face lighting up with the admission, pink spreading over her pale cheeks. It wasn't very often Arizona got shy, she was always so playful and feisty, so full of confidence.

"Yes, I really do." Callie paused for a moment feeling nervous, but this was it, all or nothing, "Arizona, I've liked you since the day we met." She blushed and then as usual came her word vomit, "I mean, we're friends no matter what. You're my best friend and I don't want to lose that. I know I shouldn't have just blurted it out, in here of all places, but it's all that's been on my mind lately. You are always on my mind Arizona. All the time I-"

"Calliope," Arizona said softly. "I, um . . . I'm going to kiss you now. If that's okay?" Callie smiled, nodding her head gently as Arizona's comforting blue eyes locked with her brown ones. This was a first kiss for them both. "I like you too. I really, really like you," Arizona whispered softly. Callie's eyes widened as Arizona began leaning in towards her, she found herself mirroring her movements. She had imagined this moment but the reality of the sudden intimacy was overwhelming, her heart was beating loudly, the pace increasing from both nerves and anticipation. They were close, so close that Arizona could see a sprinkle of gold in the sea of chocolate-brown that was Callie's eyes, she tip-toed to match Callie's height and then everything went dark. Eyes fluttered shut and breaths hitched as they felt the gentle caress of soft lips pressed onto their own. It was innocent but passionate, both girls feeling butterflies in the pit of their stomachs. Arizona pulled away, her eyes opening and a large goofy grin covering her face. She couldn't help the small nervous laugh that erupted from her mouth, that felt amazing and Callie looked like she enjoyed it too.

Feeling the need for more Arizona took the step of reconnecting their lips, this time letting her hands cup Callie's face. Callie immediately melted into the kiss. She whimpered against the blonde's lips and began to fall apart, her arms instantly wrapping around Arizona's waist, pulling her in closer. Unlike the first kiss this one was needier, filled with want. Both girls pouring everything they had into it, trying to express their feelings. Arizona felt Callie's mouth part slightly and her tongue glided seamlessly into her mouth. A jolt of electricity coursed through both bodies and they let out the tiniest of moans when their tongues met for the first time, massaging each other so softly, dancing. They explored each other's mouths until they were forced to part, both hearts beating fast and lungs pleading for oxygen. Never, had either girl felt this way. They had never kissed anyone but they knew this felt right, like they belonged, their mouths fitting together like a missing jigsaw piece. It was passionate… It was incredible… It was… _Perfect_.

_"When we kissed for the first time, I knew you were it for me."_

* * *

_I love you. I've never loved someone as much as I love you."_

"Happy Birthday Calliope," Arizona said excitedly, handing the birthday present she held in her hands to her girlfriend.

"Arizona! It's beautiful," Callie picked it out the box, holding it in her hand to get a better look.

"Can I . . . Will I put it on you?" Arizona asked. Callie handed the necklace to her and watched as two dimples appeared on Arizona's face.

"Yes please." Callie automatically turned her back to Arizona. "I love it, though it's half a heart. I hope this isn't your sick way of breaking up with me," Callie joked.

"Never." Arizona said placing a delicate kiss on Callie's shoulder, before turning her back round so they were face to face. "I thought I should get a present for your birthday too."

Callie looked confused. "Me making out with you?" she suggested, wiggling her eyebrows and smiling seductively.

Arizona laughed. "Of course there will be making out but I was talking about this . . ." she reached a hand to her neck and pulled out the chain she had hidden under the collar of her top.

"It's the other half!" Callie exclaimed at the sight of the white gold necklace around Arizona's neck, the small diamonds around the edge sparkling in the light.

"I know it's really cheesy but-" She gasped, cut off by Callie's mouth covering her own in a small appreciative kiss that left her lips tingling and wanting more.

"It's perfect. It will always remind me of you. I embrace the cheese. I love the cheese."

Arizona laughed, "I love you." The words just rolled off her tongue. It was the first time she had ever said it and she felt elated. She couldn't contain the dimpled grin that covered her face, she didn't feel panicked, all she wanted to do was say it again, "I -I am so in love with you Calliope."

Callie felt her heart flutter in her chest at her girlfriend's declaration of love and reached out pulling her in closer. "I love you more," she smiled her megawatt smile then connected their lips, sighing into the kiss.

* * *

_"Erica I…I slept with someone else," she announced in a whisper, then closed her eyes and waited for the explosion. _

Erica Hahn was the epitome of confidence. How many times had she been called arrogant, self-centered, or conceited? Plenty - and she'd deserved it every time. She was all of those things but she had the credentials to back it up. She graduated first in her class. She was the best cardiothoracic surgeon in the country. She was confident in her looks and engaged to a beautiful woman. So why now she thought to herself, was she feeling worthless, like she wasn't good enough? Why did she doubt herself? She was better than this.

She could feel tension in her body, knotting up at her shoulders, so she knew that she was angry but this was overshadowed by the feeling in her chest, the utter devastation. So far she'd held it together, somehow – she hadn't cried, no matter how much she wanted to and she really, really wanted to. This was the second time she had found herself in a relationship with someone who claimed to love her but had cheated on her. She wasn't suppressing her emotions. She just physically wasn't capable of producing tears, or speaking. It was like her body had shut down.

_After a minute, when nothing happened, she opened them again. "Erica?"_

Callie looked up into Erica's eyes that were now a dull blue, their hands clasped between them. She could see so much hurt, suddenly Erica pulled her hand away from Callie's grasp and sat it on her lap.

With the admission everything now felt unfamiliar – _different_.

The silence was excruciatingly painful, minutes felt like hours until Erica finally let out a deep sigh, "We are supposed to be getting married." She paused and Callie stared not sure where this was going. "Are you fed up of this-" she asked shakily, waving a hand between them – "us?"

"Erica-" Callie began, her tone sympathetic.

"It was one time right? So it was a mistake." Erica pleaded but Callie didn't answer. "I mean you didn't mean it." Callie remained silent. "We can get through this, right?"

"I'm so sorry," Callie replied.


	6. Trying

**Chapter Six**

**Trying**

* * *

It was becoming very apparent to Callie and Erica that their relationship was crumbling away before their very eyes. This week had been the worst they'd experienced as a couple, fighting and arguing until they reached the point of no return. Callie, finally having had enough, packed her bags and checked into a hotel; that was four days ago. They thought spending time apart would be good for them, giving them the time and space required to process everything; the betrayal, the guilt, the broken trust, but they failed to realize this solution was only temporary, and was in fact making matters worse.

Erica shifted in her sleep, burrowing her face sleepily into the soft pillow and inhaling the sweet scent that could only be described as uniquely Callie. She smiled and her hand flexed subconsciously, expecting to find Callie's warm body lying next to her but it took her less than a heartbeat to notice the empty space. She stared sadly into the cold spot on the double bed, letting out a sigh as she rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling. She missed waking up and wrapping her arms around the woman she loved. She missed the way Callie would fight off having to get out of bed, always waiting till the last possible minute and wearing a reluctant pout on her face. Smiling softly at the image of Callie in her head Erica found the energy to move, tumbling out of bed and slowly making her way to the bathroom. She decided she would talk to Callie today at lunch, she needed to know what was going on between them and that was the only time she was guaranteed to see her face to face. They didn't want to draw attention to themselves by avoiding each other at work, it would only spread gossip, so they kept up the pretense.

Cristina hadn't noticed anything odd but apparently Teddy had, because sitting in the cafeteria taking a bite of her sandwich she felt compelled to ask, "Do you think something's going on with Callie and Erica?"

"What are you talking about?" Cristina glanced over to the table Callie and Erica were at and watched them for a moment – they were sitting across from each other in silence picking at their food, they looked miserable – she laughed and then looked back at Teddy. "They look exactly like they do any other day, like an old married couple. They are boring."

"There's something going on," Teddy replied. "They haven't been arriving together. Erica is being the biggest bitch and Callie is usually all smiles but lately she just looks sad . . ." She broke off blushing, embarrassed to admit that she'd been watching them so closely. "Look, they're just acting weird, okay?"

"Why don't you go ask them if you're that interested?" Cristina asked, rolling her eyes and grabbing a handful of fries, shoving them into her mouth. "You need to get a life and stop watching the lesbians like their some exhibit. Please do me a favor, stop watching and go experience. Get laid Teddy. The world will be a better place and by world I mean my eating experience because if you mention Hahn one more time I swear to God, I'll puke." Teddy huffed and went back to watching them, taking another bite of her sandwich. There was definitely something going on.

The silence between the two of them was stifling and Erica couldn't take it anymore. "I'm losing you, aren't I?" she asked quietly, breaking the silence and looking around to make sure no one could hear her.

Callie was taken aback by the question. "You want to talk about this here?" she asked cautiously, knowing the hospital was a cesspool of gossip. "Let's go talk somewhere a bit more . . . private, okay?" her voice was gentle but laced with concern.

Erica nodded and followed Callie to an on-call room, locking the door before initiating the conversation. "I can't bring myself to tell you how much I miss you because I feel like I shouldn't be the one fighting for you. You cheated on me, Callie. Surely this should be the other way around?" She sighed before continuing. "Yet every time we talk on the phone or I see you I want to beg you to come home. I don't want to throw away six years of being in each other's lives." She drew in a shaky breath and looked to the ground, trying to hold back tears she added, "I just feel like you don't care."

Callie instinctively reached out for Erica's hand when she saw how upset she was, "I care." Erica's blue eyes snapped up from the ground meeting hers and she tightened her grip on Callie's hand. "This is my fault and I'm sorry for that, I didn't plan this; cheating on you. I was happy - we were happy - but-"

"Please come home?" Erica interrupted. "I've said we'll get past this and I mean it. I'm sorry for constantly bringing it up, but all you've told me is it happened at the wedding, it was one time with someone you care about and it won't happen again. How am I meant to react to that, knowing you have feelings for a woman other than me? I'm trying here. Can't you see that? I know I keep starting arguments but I won't. We can get back to being us."

Callie took a minute to process everything. "Okay," she whispered quietly. "I want to try. I want this to work Erica." It wasn't a lie, she had told Arizona she had to go home to her life and Erica was her life. She was willing to accept Callie cheating because she loved her and she loved Erica too, she did. They could get back to before, they had to or all of this was for nothing; hurting and leaving Arizona behind was for no good reason. "I know it might take a while for you to trust me again but I need you to know that I am in this and I care." Erica smiled and wrapped her arms around Callie. They were going to try, their relationship deserved that.

* * *

Callie sat cross-legged in the middle of the small on-call room bed. "Yes, I won!" She exclaimed, doing a victory dance with her arms.

"There is no way you won," Erica said suspiciously. Callie inhaled deeply wondering what she was doing when she leaned over invading her personal space, but her hand simply reached down between her thighs and pulled out a card. "I knew it!" she said playfully, gently swatting Callie's arm with the back of her hand and letting out a laugh. "You are disqualified. I win."

Callie laughed. "I swear, I didn't know that was there." This was the first time in two weeks things felt completely normal between them. They were used to playing card games in their spare time at the hospital, if they were both quiet. They were still working through things but this small act of normalcy made them feel closer. It was a work in progress, slowly taking baby steps to try and find themselves again.

"You lost, just accept defeat Callie." She leaned forward and placed a small but passionate kiss on Callie's lips, taking her by surprise. They hadn't been intimate at all since she had come clean about cheating, which was understandable, Callie had betrayed her. As Erica pulled away Callie smiled, glad they were slowly getting back on track.

The silence was filled with the urgent beeping of a pager and they both looked down, it was Erica's, "Peds, the children need me apparently." She huffed as she got to her feet and pulled on her lab coat, it was a consult.

Callie also sprang up from the bed and onto her feet. "I need to go to Peds and check on my patient, nasty skate-boarding accident so I can walk you down," she explained, smiling as they headed out of the room together.

The conversation flowed effortlessly between them as they made their way to the Peds wing. "That must be the new head of Peds, I was told she started today." Callie looked up to find a familiar looking blonde leaning against the nurse's station, the concentration on her face evident as she examined the chart in her hands with her bottom lip caught between her teeth. Her jaw drop to the floor and her chest constricted, the tightness hindered her from breathing, she needed air, she felt warm, and she needed to be somewhere else, anywhere but here. She wasn't expecting this, to see Arizona roaming the halls of the hospital she worked in. She closed her eyes and opened them again, this wasn't real, it can't be, but she was still there.

"She's cute," Erica whispered with a smirk on her face. Callie looked at her to see if she was expecting her to chime in and give her opinion but thankfully she didn't as she continued talking, "I mean, if blondes are your thing. Since you're here we may as well introduce ourselves, you'll have to work with her eventually." Before Callie could protest Erica grabbed her by the arm and led her towards the new doctor. This was a nightmare surely? A nightmare she needed to wake up from, now! She looked at her pager begging it to go off, anything was better than this, but it was too late.

Her heart was pounding, adrenaline was flooding her system, and her mind was focused on surviving this encounter for the next however many minutes, "Dr. Robbins, right?" Erica asked in a dry tone. The blonde turned to face her with a smile on her face that slowly faded as she caught sight of not one but two women. "Dr. Hahn. You paged me for a consult?" She extended a hand which Arizona absent-mindedly accepted. Her eyes were firmly fixed on the familiar brown eyes of the woman by Erica's side, eyes she had once spent hours gazing into, getting lost in and her jaw dropped, but only for a second. However, Erica noticed and didn't like it, "This is Dr. Callie Torres, my fiancé and the best orthopedic surgeon in the hospital." She smiled and Callie looked on nervously. Erica was marking her territory, claiming what was hers and that meant one thing, she felt threatened.

This was quickly turning out to be the most awkward experience of Arizona's life. She didn't know how to respond. Was she to pretend they didn't know each other? Should she let on they have a past? However, it soon became clear when Callie offered a hand and said, "Nice to meet you Dr. Robbins." Her eyes searched Arizona's face, a mixture of sadness and anger washing over her striking features, and in that moment Callie felt nothing but shame. She had panicked and the words just escaped without much thought.

Arizona looked down at their still joined hands and forcibly pulled away, turning her attention back to Erica. "The patient is in the second room to your right; room 2.25. Dr. Yang is already in there and she can update you on the case." With that Erica placed a brief kiss on Callie's cheek, just for show, and then walked towards the room. Arizona stood for a moment staring at Callie before doing the same thing without uttering a single word to her.

"Arizona, wait!" Callie yelled after her, but she didn't stop.

"Callie, I have to go," she replied angrily, not wanting to turn around to see her.

"Arizona, I said wait!" Callie repeated as she caught up to her, grabbing her arm and dragging her into an empty on-call room. "I'm sorry, okay? I, uh… I panicked. Let me explain," she pleaded. Arizona was glaring daggers and took a step towards the on-call room door. "Please don't walk away from me."

Callie watched as Arizona turned to face her, crossing her arms over her chest and letting out a laugh of disbelief. "Are you kidding me? I've not to walk away? You walked away from me, remember? Twice! Do you think I want to be here? If I knew you were here I would never have come."

Taken back by the ferocity in which Arizona replied, Callie cleared her throat, swallowing hard she opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. "Do you think I like having you parade other women in my face? Seeing how easy it is for you to just dismiss me and throw me away, yet again. Seeing that I was so easily replaced in your life, when I have spent mine comparing every relationship, every woman to you - it never measuring up, never being enough because that person isn't you. I can't find it in me to love them as much as I love you. Which I now realize is ridiculous because I don't even know you, not really, not now."

"Arizona?" Callie said sadly, trying to get her attention but failing miserably. She automatically reached out to place a comforting hand on Arizona's shoulder, but blue eyes sharply darted in her direction and she was taken aback by the burning intensity in them as Arizona glared at her. "Please let me-" Callie began, but she wasn't given the chance to finish her sentence.

"You know, there is someone up there pulling the strings and having a right good laugh at my life." She laughed self-deprecatingly. "I mean, you are here and I am here - we are together – except we're not because you are happy with someone else, and that breaks my heart." Her sadness began to permeate the tiny room and Callie could feel it, she could feel it with every fiber of her being and it hurt, but this was an impossible situation.

Arizona sat on the edge of the bed and inhaled deeply trying to compose herself before she continued. "It breaks my heart that you are happy. It breaks my heart that I can't find it in me to be happy for your happiness and that I hoped you would have the same luck as me . . . but instead I find myself here, alone, witnessing that all the dreams I had for us have come true for you - being madly in love, becoming doctors, working at the same hospital, living together, making plans to get married, having an actual future. You have all that, and it breaks my heart that I'm not the one by your side. So please, don't come to me and ask why I'm walking away Calliope. I just can't be around you. I can't, now leave me alone . . . please."

With that she stood from the bed and started to walk towards the door. Callie raised and arm in an attempt to prevent her from leaving, but it was too late, the door slammed shut, leaving a speechless and emotional brunette behind.

* * *

Everything hit Arizona all at once when she left the room. She felt her eyes fill with water but she didn't pause to compose herself, she continued walking, pushing through the disbelief of the situation, the anger she felt towards Callie and herself for getting so emotional. She wanted to find Mark and discuss everything, get it all off her chest and a hug wouldn't go amiss either, but he was in surgery. Seattle was meant to be her fresh start and now this. It was one thing after another.

She headed to the nearest bathroom and tears started to fall. "Shit," she muttered to herself annoyed that she was yet again crying, she was so sick of crying. Turning on the tap she splashed some water on her face, hoping it would snap her out of her current state.

Suddenly one of the toilets flushed and she heard a familiar woman's voice, "You don't look so good." She turned to find Teddy standing with nothing but concern in her eyes, she continued to talk as she made her way over to the sink to wash her hands, "I mean, you look good, but you look like you've had a rough first day."

Arizona laughed nervously then wiped her eyes with her sleeve, sniffling slightly. "I've definitely had better days."

"Tell me about," Teddy sighed. "I've had trauma coming out of my ass all day. Plus, Yang says I've to quit playing P.I. to other people's relationships and live a little." Arizona looked on confused, but when Teddy let out a small laugh she was unable to contain the smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. "I guess what I'm trying to say is you're not the only sad one here."

"Thanks." Arizona laughed. "That's oddly... _comforting_."

"Well, I'm glad my misfortune makes you feel better." Teddy smiled. "You know what else helps? Alcohol. We could get a drink later, if you want?"

Arizona nodded, smiling again,"That would be great Teddy."

"Good. It can be a pity party for us both or a welcome party for you," she laughed and Arizona couldn't help but join in. Teddy put her at ease and made her feel good, taking her mind off Callie for a minute and letting her regroup. Her thoughts and feelings were all over the place. She hadn't expected this, at all. "What time do you get off?" Teddy asked, interrupting her thoughts.

"I get off in an hour," she replied. Teddy was the same so they agreed to meet in the lobby at eight and make their way to the bar straight from the hospital.

Arizona didn't see Callie the last hour she spent in the hospital but she thought about her, maybe she over-reacted? This was a complicated situation and if it were her in Callie's position she would have panicked too, but she would never have just dismissed her. She knew she would have to talk to her at some point to discuss everything but tonight she settled on trying to have some fun and take her mind off it all.

* * *

Callie sat alone at the bar with a diet coke in her hand. She was on-call and had only come to talk to Addison about the day she had, to vent a little. The two had forged a friendship over the past three weeks but the red-head was nowhere to be found tonight. When she heard the bell on the door ring she turned just enough to see who had walked in, great she thought. Perfect. How would they even know this place existed? She turned back to the bar and hoped that she hadn't been seen and that Arizona wouldn't come over, but when she didn't it made things seem worse.

She gave it a few minutes, then turned to see where she was. She was at the opposite end of the bar in a booth, laughing loudly with Teddy. That should have been enough to convince her that she was okay after their argument, she was out having fun with another woman, but it wasn't. She wanted so badly to walk over and try to talk to her, explain everything. She couldn't take her eyes off the pair until Arizona looked over and locked eyes with her. All the laughter that had filled her face faded and she froze. Callie couldn't decide whether or not to wave or do something so she settled on giving her a half-hearted smile. When the blonde briefly averted her gaze back to Teddy she got to her feet and headed to the bathroom, her eyes filling with tears. "Dammit," she breathed grabbing some tissue and making her way over to the mirror wiping off the mascara that had streaked her face. Arizona was free to do whatever or whoever she liked but just seeing her with someone else, someone Callie knew to be gay, was painful. Then she realized how hard it must have been for Arizona to see her with Erica, the woman she was engaged to. Her thoughts were interrupted when the bathroom door opened. She looked in the mirror and saw the blonde who had been occupying her thoughts. "Arizona," she said softly.

"You still have a thing for crying in public bathrooms, huh?" she asked, making Callie laugh.

She turned, the smile slipping from her face, "I- I'm sorry about earlier." She stuttered, her face full of shame. "I know I'm the last person you want to see right now-"

"I'm here," Arizona replied. "I… um, I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to see you," she explained. Her voice was soft and understanding.

Callie forcefully bit down on her lower lip to stop it from quivering. "Arizona, everything is just so messed up. I'm sorry." At that moment in time tears proved to be the most valuable thing she had and she couldn't help but let them fall, she had no words.

Arizona looked on sadly and opened her arms letting Callie fall into the warm embrace. "You're going to be okay," she assured her, wiping away the tears that poured down her cheeks. Callie rested her head on Arizona's shoulder and closed her eyes, more tears spilling at Arizona's words. She felt comforted by the warm body pressed against her own, the strong hand rubbing circles on her back and the soft lips that placed a delicate, innocent kiss on her temple. She didn't want to move. She wanted to stay like this for as long as she could, just be here with her but the moment was interrupted by the loud and obnoxious beeping of her pager that was attached to the band of her scrub pants.

She paused, trying to compose herself and stop the lump forming in her throat. "I uh, I have to go," she said hesitantly, looking up from Arizona's shoulder. "But are we . . . um, are we going to be okay?" she asked nervously, her fingers curling and uncurling by her side.

"Yeah," Arizona said shakily, taking a step back and releasing Callie from her firm hold. "I mean . . . we can try, right?" She knew she was saying what Callie wanted to hear but she hoped they would be okay.

"I would love to try," Callie replied. "But I… um, I better get going. Teddy is waiting for you and someone needs me at the hospital." With that, they said what felt like an awkward goodbye and Callie headed to the hospital. They hadn't cleared anything up at all, there was still so much they had to discuss but for now she was glad they agreed to try and be, _friends_?

Arizona stepped out of the bathroom once she had composed herself and made her way over to Teddy. "I am so sorry," she began explaining but as she took her seat a tall red-head interrupted her.

"So what, now you are bringing other women to my bar Theodora?" Addison laughed and Teddy turned her head to look at the woman, instantly wrapping her arms around her in a tight embrace.

She hadn't seen her since she left for L.A to launch the new bar and that was a month ago. She had been way too busy at the hospital. "How was L.A? I was starting to think you were having too much fun and were going to settle down there. Especially with the warm weather, certainly better than Seattle."

"I did have fun," Addison said with a mischievous grin on her face. "I was tempted to stay but Seattle's my home. I love it here, and too much sun after a while gets boring."

"Plus, I'm here," Teddy added. Addison shook her head before letting out a small laugh. "Oh Addie, this is Arizona." Teddy gestured between the two women. "She's a new attending at the hospital. We are here to get drunk and forget our lives revolve around a pager and saving people's lives."

"Tiny humans lives, to be exact." Arizona immediately realized her correction made her sound worse, "God, I'm horrible."

Teddy nodded her head in agreement, "You really are."

Addison watched the playful exchange and then extended a hand with a smile on her face. "Glad to meet you Arizona, and if it makes you feel any better from what I've heard you are anything but horrible." Both women gave her a questioning look before Arizona smiled and returned the sentiment. "Anyway, I better get going. I have a date waiting for me and I said I would be quick. I only came down to grab some more wine to take up to the apartment."

"You aren't cooking, are you?" Teddy asked, laughing slightly.

Addison pretended to be offended. "I did cook, and he loved my food."

Teddy crinkled her nose and let out a sympathetic tut, "That poor man."

Addison laughed and hit her playfully. "I'll see you soon, enjoy the rest of your night. Oh, and I'll be sure to let Sam know he'll need to throw the two drunks out at closing." She pointed to one of the bartenders. He was built like a tank which made both women laugh. "It was good to meet you, Arizona." They watched as the red-head approached the bar, collected a bottle of wine and then disappeared out of the door.

"So, you two are good friends?"

"You could say that." Teddy laughed. "She's my ex."

"Oh," Arizona said shocked. "I'm sorry." She didn't mean to bring up something so personal.

"Don't worry about it." Teddy shrugged. "She's my best friend. We haven't been a couple in . . . God, I don't even know how long. It's been years." She laughed.

Arizona downed her shot thinking maybe it was possible she could just be friends with Callie. "Do you want another drink Teddy?" She nodded and Arizona ordered them another round. Apparently Addison had told Sam that all drinks were on the house for them and they planned on taking advantage of it.


	7. I'm Done Waiting

**Chapter Seven**

**I'm Done Waiting**

* * *

Arizona knew before she even opened her eyes that the last thing she wanted to do was… well, open her eyes. To say she was feeling rough was an understatement, so instead of trying to face the outside world, she kept her eyes firmly shut, trying - and generally failing - to ignore the throbbing in her head. For a brief moment, she found herself wondering where exactly she was. Which was a good question, she figured, since this sure as hell wasn't her room, or her bed. She desperately sorted through her clouded mind trying to figure out how she ended up here - in Mark's apartment.

With a yawn and a stretch, she stole a glance at the digital clock on the bedside table, which read 06:54 am. Cursing lightly under her breath, she wriggled out of the double bed, promising herself she would never drink again. She noted that she still had on lasts nights' attire as she made her way down the hall and through to the kitchen.

Mark looked at her with raised eyebrows, a small smirk playing on his lips as he took in her pale complexion, "Hanging in there Robbins?"

Arizona spoke for the first time, voice slightly pitiful, "Barely."

Mark winced on her behalf. "Yeah, I'm not surprised."

Arizona swallowed hard, desperately trying to get some moisture in her mouth. "Last night?" She asked groggily, stepping further into the kitchen.

"Can you remember anything?" Mark asked. Arizona blushed, pink spreading over her pale face. She remembered parts of the night, mostly having a good laugh with Teddy, but she wasn't sure how she ended up here instead of her own apartment, which was just across the hall. Taking a seat at the kitchen counter she watched as Mark busied himself, handing her a much needed cup of coffee, along with some aspirin. "Here, drink this, and take these."

Her fingers curled around the steaming mug and she slowly, absentmindedly, brought it to her mouth, groaning as the hot liquid trickled down her throat and she swallowed the pills. A soft smile escaped, tugging at the corners of her mouth, "Thanks Mark." Mark smiled back at her, shaking his head disapprovingly, yet his eyes lit up with mischief. "What?" Arizona asked, laughing nervously.

"You put up such a fuss about living next door to me, yet here you are, sitting in my kitchen at seven o'clock in the morning. Hungover." He smirked and shrugged slightly, "You can't live without me."

"You know," Arizona began, taking another sip of coffee. "You're not entirely wrong, death would be the only way to escape you at this point — and even then I'm sure you'd find a way to bother me relentlessly."

Mark rolled his eyes, "Is there any need to be such a smart ass all the time?"

"Nope," Arizona grinned. "Not when I'm asleep."

Mark shook his head, laughing slightly. "Ha-ha, very funny," he replied sarcastically. "But again, you are the one sitting in my apartment, in my kitchen, at this time in the morning. So, my point stands."

Arizona shrugged, "Whatever." She hesitated, a perplexed look on her face as she asked, "Why exactly am I here again?"

"Well," Mark began, grinning widely. "You and Teddy Altman, who, by the way, is smoking hot, got chucked out of some bar last night."

Arizona almost choked on her coffee. "Okay. A, we did not get chucked out of the bar," she informed him. "It was closing time and we were having too much fun. So . . . they had to use a little force to get us to leave." Mark laughed. "And B, you're not Teddy's type."

The laughing ceased and Mark looked insulted for a second, before it dawned on him what she meant and he smiled wickedly. "Oh," he exclaimed. "Really?" He asked, raising a suggestive eyebrow, to which Arizona nodded her head. "In that case what are you waiting for Arizona?"

"Look, Mark . . ." Arizona began to explain, rather reluctantly, propping her elbows on the kitchen counter and placing her head in her hands. "Teddy is beautiful, she's smart, funny . . . everything a sane woman or man would want, but, we're just friends." Mark huffed and rolled his eyes, disappointed. "Hey! Don't give me that look and be all judge-y. You know blondes aren't really my type; never have been and probably never will be."

"Well we need to find you a hot brunette or maybe you should go for a red-head," Mark suggested, sounding a little too enthusiastic about the idea. Taking a deep breath he added, "You need to find someone to distract you from Callie Torres."

"What?" Arizona asked, confused.

"You came to my door in the middle of the night, as drunk as could be, to tell me Callie worked at the hospital and you met her and her fiancé." He left out the part she was crying, not wanting to add insult to injury. "Then you were sick before passing out on my couch, so I moved you to the spare room." Arizona sighed, that explained pretty much everything from why she was here to why she felt like death warmed up this morning. A small, tiny part of her, took comfort in knowing Teddy would probably feel just as bad and they could take pity on each other throughout the day.

Mark continued his rant, "A part of me wants to kick her ass for the way she thinks she can treat you and the other part of me wants to kick your ass for going all soft and letting her walk all over you. She's engaged. After the wedding she chose Erica. She moved on. You've got to know when it's time to turn the page. It's about time you make her a chapter in your life, not the whole goddamn story."

She knew he was only trying to be a good friend but still, reality was a bitch and her expression saddened. "I'm feeling bad enough already Mark and apparently we had this little heart to heart last night. So let's not do this now, okay . . ."

Mark decided not to push it. He thought maybe, just maybe, Arizona seeing Callie with someone else would be what she needed to give their relationship some closure and move on. Arizona had enjoyed her life the way it was pre-wedding. She enjoyed being single. She liked being free and not having to worry about things. It was easy and uncomplicated, and she liked it that way. So for now, Mark decided to remain quiet and let her process everything in the hope she would move past this. "You want another coffee?" He asked, changing the subject and pointing to her now empty cup.

"No. I'm good, thanks." She sighed in relief, thankful he had given up on talking about Callie because she didn't have it in her to think about the mess she called her life this morning. "I, uh, should probably go next door and start getting ready for work. I feel disgusting. I need to brush my teeth. And I need a shower."

"Yeah," Mark agreed. Finding it almost painful to keep a neutral expression on his face he added, "You smell like a distillery."

Arizona laughed, "I would be more insulted if it weren't true."

Letting out a laugh, Mark picked up the empty cup that sat infront of Arizona. "What are you waiting for?" He asked. Jerking his head in the direction of the door he added, "Get out of here."

"Jeez, you would think you don't like having me in your home," Arizona replied, getting to her feet and looking for her scattered belongings.

"That's because I don't," Mark yelled, Arizona having disappeared from the kitchen area.

She returned, shoes, jacket and purse in hand, grinning as she made her way to the front door, "You love it."

"Yeah," he began, sarcastic. "So much that I'm going to get a chain put on that door to keep you out."

Arizona turned, looking at Mark with a large grin on her face, "Who are you kidding?" Her hand was resting on the already open door as she added, "You'd miss me too much." With that she exited the apartment, not waiting for a response from Mark just closing the door behind her and letting out a small laugh.

* * *

By the time Arizona got to work she was feeling surprisingly good. All it took was a warm shower, some aspirin and coffee to cure her hangover or at least numb it into submission. Her first surgery of the day had gone smoothly and she had caught up with a fragile looking Teddy. She had even managed to avoid Callie, which was a bonus because she didn't have a clue what she was going to do about that whole situation. In truth, she knew the best thing to do would be to keep their relationship strictly professional but a small part of her wanted more and was telling her to ignore all rationality. However, despite her conflicted thoughts and feelings, it had been a good morning.

With twenty minutes to spare before her next surgery she decided to go to the coffee cart to load up on some more caffeine. With her scalding coffee in hand, she said a quick thank you to the barista and smiled turning to walk away but as she did someone stepped forward and bumped into her, knocking the cup backwards.

"Dammit!" she yelled, spilling the burning hot liquid all over herself. Her eyes narrowed in anger and frustration but as she lifted her head the woman in front of her was looking extremely apologetic.

"Oh, God, I'm sorry," the flustered woman said, picking up a clean napkin and aiming for Arizona's ruined scrub top. Her cheeks turned a light pink and she hesitated, realizing how inappropriate it would be for her to actually touch Arizona's chest. Noticing this Arizona lifted her hand and the stranger awkwardly handed the napkin to her.

"I-I didn't mean to spill it on you," she stuttered. "It didn't burn you, did it?" she continued, her voice laced with worry and concern as Arizona began dabbing at her top.

Looking down at her chest Arizona noticed it was a little pinker than the rest of her skin, but it didn't hurt. "No, I'm fine," she replied. A faint smile playing on her lips as she watched the woman's dark eyes move from her chest back to her eyes; caught staring the woman averted her gaze for a brief second, clearly embarrassed.

"Thank God," she sighed, feeling relieved. "I really am sorry."

Arizona looked at the stranger thoughtfully, allowing her eyes to take in her appearance. She was gorgeous, definitely Arizona's type; a good-looking brunette. At a glance she reminded her of Callie, but with further inspection it was clear the two didn't compare. She didn't have Callie's striking features or her curves. God, Arizona loved Callie's curves; her shapely hips, full breasts and firm yet supple ass. She was just so womanly. This stranger however was smaller in build; thinner. Her skin was lighter, her eyes were big and round; hazel in color and her dark hair sat above her shoulders. She was hot. Arizona couldn't deny that.

"Dr. Robbins?" She watched as the woman flashed a dazzling smile, a single dimple emerging on her right cheek. "You okay?" the stranger asked quietly, touching her arm and knocking her from her reverie.

Arizona nodded, smiling again. "I'm fine," she assured her. "Thanks." She cocked her head to the side and her brow furrowed in confusion when she realized the woman had used her name to address her. "Have we met before?" she inquisitively asked.

"No. I don't think we have," the woman chuckled. "I'm pretty sure I would have remembered meeting you," she smiled. "Why do you ask?"

"Well . . . You knew my name."

"Yeah," the stranger blushed slightly. "It's uh, on your lab coat."

"Oh, right," Arizona laughed, looking down at the name sewn onto her lab coat, "Of course."

"So Dr. Robbins, why haven't I seen you around before?"

"I'm new. It's only my second day here," she explained. "And you can call me Arizona," she insisted, smiling brightly as she extended a hand.

"Arizona," the woman repeated. "I'm Colleen," she accepted Arizona's hand with a smile. "Murphy. Now that we are on a first name basis, please let me buy you another cup of coffee to replace the one I dropped all over you."

"As tempting as that sounds," Arizona began. "I have surgery in ten minutes." She looked down at her soaked scrubs, "And I'll uh, need to change out of these scrubs."

Colleen stole a glance at Arizona's chest. "Yeah, sorry," she repeated.

"Seriously, don't worry about it," Arizona said, waving off her apology. "Besides, it was nice meeting you."

"Likewise," Colleen nodded, smiling kindly. "But I still owe you a coffee."

"I'll remember that," Arizona teased, sending Colleen a playful, flirty smirk.

Colleen nodded and her lips twitched up into a ghost of a smile as she watched Arizona walk away.

* * *

Callie sat in the empty attending's lounge, her eyes closed and a hand massaging her forehead. Her frustration was starting to get to her again. Once more, for the umpteenth time this week she felt a flood of jealousy course through her entire body. She was sure Arizona was avoiding her, but in a friendly, passive aggressive way. When she saw her she would smile and when they spoke it was professional and polite but it just felt wrong. To make matters worse, she had just spent two and a half hours in surgery watching her scrub nurse flirt shamelessly with Arizona. And perhaps worst of all, Arizona flirt back.

She was trying to think of something else. Anything – but it didn't work.

All she could think about was Arizona and Colleen. The way they spoke to each other; so fun and flirty, giggling away like school girls. Not to mention the looks between them. They may as well have had sex right there and then. Forget the kid on the table at risk of losing his leg. Forget about being in a work environment surrounding by people who can see and hear you. Forget that your ex-girlfriend is in the room having homicidal thoughts – whilst holding a scalpel in her hands. Go for it! Flirt away. It's not completely inappropriate. Unprofessional!

Was she being a little dramatic? _Yes._

Was she being irrational? _Probably._

But those were the thoughts going through her head and it was infuriating because she was engaged. She had no right to be jealous. Whereas Arizona had every right to flirt and go for coffee – as she had seen them do earlier in the week - with Colleen.

Her thoughts were interrupted and her eyes snapped open when someone entered the quiet room, rather abruptly. "Hey," Arizona said cheerily, standing in the doorway. "So this is where you fled to after surgery," she closed the door and waited for Callie to respond. When she failed to do so she made herself comfortable on the cushioned chair across from her. Callie's eyes fluttered shut as she took a deep breath, questioning her trust in herself to open her mouth and not say something stupid.

Sitting back in her chair, Arizona gave Callie the once-over before softly trying to get her attention, "Callie?"

"Hmm. . ." Callie hummed faintly, nodding her head.

"I wanted to say thank you." Arizona's voice sounded sincere and Callie's eye's peeled open, curious. "We saved a kid from possible amputation today because of you," Arizona explained.

"Well," Callie began, smiling. "We make a pretty good team."

"Yeah," Arizona nodded her head in agreement. "We do," she sighed airily, a dimpled grin settling on her face.

Callie had to remember not to look at her too closely when she smiled like that, but time stopped for a moment as Arizona's eyes met her gaze, both of them sitting staring at each other; blue eyes piercing brown, boring straight through her and into her soul. Neither of them spoke, though both seemed to want to open their mouths to begin a conversation. The silence was nice but also awkward and a little intense, conversation would have been better, anything to take their eyes off of each other.

Arizona broke first, her mouth opened and the words came out softly. "I should, um – I should probably go," she stuttered, her eyes darting around the room before landing back on Callie. "I just wanted to say thank you. I didn't get the chance to after surgery, so. . ." she trailed off, getting to her feet, a polite smile on her face, "I'll see you around."

Callie shook her head. "Sure, whatever," she replied dismissively, her patience wearing thin.

Arizona looked at her with wide eyes, slightly bewildered by her response, "What do you want from me Callie?"

Callie was taken aback by Arizona's response. She didn't expect her to say anything. "I –I don't know," she replied, taking a deep breath, twisting her hands in her lap and frowning as she tried to put her thoughts into words. "I just, I hate this Arizona. I don't want things to be like this. I want us to at least talk, to try to sort everything out. I want you in my life."

Arizona just gave Callie a dumbfounded, frustrated look. "You are unbelievable!" She hissed, purposefully walking away.

"Arizona," Callie blurted out in a passion of frustration, starting to follow in her wake. "Wouldn't-" she began to say, but the words stuck in her mouth. She swallowed and tried again. "Wouldn't it be better if we sat down and talked about everything, instead of you avoiding me?" Callie picked up her pace and had almost caught up to Arizona when she stopped suddenly and whipped around to face her. She opened her mouth, ready to hurl some harsh words, but when her blue eyes surveyed the room she realized now was not the time or the place. The hall they had turned down was crowded; patients, nurses and doctors within earshot. There was no way they could talk here without drawing attention to themselves or causing a scene. "We need to talk . . . privately." Callie lowered her voice but still managed to sound somewhat determined. "Please."

Arizona let out an exasperated sigh, nodding her head slightly as she pushed past Callie and made her way back down the hall from which they came, consumed with rage. Callie followed her down the hall and slipped into the empty on-call room after her, making sure to lock the door.

"You've been avoiding me," Callie began. The words lingered in the air as she waited for a response that didn't come. Arizona just clenched her jaw and stared straight ahead, not bothering to glance at her. "Okay," Callie sighed concededly. "You're mad at me. Fine! Just . . . at least use your words to be mad at me."

Arizona finally made eye contact and Callie noticed her stare was ice cold. "I can't do this!" Arizona snapped, anger winning over all the other emotions fighting for dominance.

Callie felt her heart clench and her face registered some alarm at the finality of Arizona's words, "What can't you do?"

"This," she gestured between them. "You saw me here and your initial reaction was to act like you had never met me and I'm meant to be okay with that. I'm meant to just forget it. Act like we're the best of friends."

"Arizona, I'm sorry. I don't know how many times you need to hear me say it before you forgive me." Callie stepped forward. "I panicked in the moment and I made a bad call. I lied and I shouldn't have, but please believe me when I say I didn't do it intentionally to hurt you. That's not what I intended to do and I am so deeply, deeply sorry that I did."

Arizona waved her apology off. "You're sorry you hurt me?" She asked, letting out a humorless laugh. "Which time? The first, second or third time, because to me that was you hammering the nails into an already locked coffin."

Callie looked to the ground feeling ashamed and hurt, forcing back the stinging tears that threatened to spill from her eyes. She breathed in huge gulps of air, hoping that it would somehow clear the urge. But nothing purged her of the hollow feeling inside her stomach that rose into her throat and clogged her voice. "For all of it," she replied sincerely. "I'm sorry that I caused you so much pain."

"I was so worried," Arizona said softly. Callie's head shot up and she looked into Arizona eyes which were shining with tears but also swirling with other emotions; hurt, love, confusion, and anger. "You just disappeared. You left me Callie. You left me to try to pick up the pieces of myself you had broken, and I –I couldn't. I spent months crying before I finally tried to clear my head of you. I hated you. I tried forgetting you, but you were everywhere. All I could see was you. All I could hear was you. You were all I could think about and it killed me." Arizona tried to compose herself as tears threatened to spill from her eyes and a lump formed in her throat. "I just . . ." Her voice faded out as she searched for the right words. "I missed you, you know."

"I missed you too," Callie confessed. It was clear through her voice that she was upset. She opened her mouth to say more but didn't get the chance.

Arizona continued to talk, clearly not finished, "I didn't even get to say goodbye. You were gone without a word. But then when I saw you at that wedding, well, I thought I'd got you back. Finally, I thought I'd got my best friend back. I thought I'd gotten a part of me back, you know? But I didn't, I completely lost it. And now all of this . . ." The tears welling in her eyes made her vision blurry and she blinked them away furiously.

Callie closed her eyes and took a deep breath before she replied. Her voice breaking slightly, "Arizona, I am so sorry."

"It's just too much," Arizona sighed, sniffling her tears back at the same time. "There's only so much a person can take and I am way past my breaking point."

There were a few seconds of silence that ticked by painfully slow, neither of them saying a single word. Callie opened her mouth expectantly, waiting for a reply to come flying out but that didn't happen. She inwardly cursed herself, knowing this was not the time to be at a loss for words. She could feel the shift in mood. She could sense the tension between them building, hanging heavy in the air and clinging to them, suffocating them. She watched as Arizona stood stewing in her own thoughts, time allowing her sadness to bubble over into anger.

Shaking her head, Arizona let out a small laugh of disbelief. "I mean, it wasn't bad enough that you left me feeling like nothing more than a cheap fuck after the wedding. No. You manage to humiliate me further by completely dismissing me, dismissing us, and of course it had to be in front of your freaking fiancé no less. Nice welcome, putting me in my place, right?"

Floored, Callie stared at Arizona's face, her hard gaze not making direct eye contact. She considered herself lucky that Arizona's question was rhetorical but she felt her shock bubble over into fury. "Arizona!" She choked out angrily, not exactly sure what she wanted to say. The truth was there was nothing she could say right now to make any of this better. Arizona had every right to be angry at her.

Barely noticing Callie's reaction, Arizona rambled on, "The worst part is that I was stupid enough to feel sorry for you when you turned on the water works because I care about you. But then I stopped, and thought for a second, and realized you have done nothing to make me believe you care about me. You don't get to dismiss me. You don't get to be jealous of someone else showing an interest in me. And you definitely don't get to mess me around and make a fool of me. You're engaged!"

"Do you not think I know that?" Callie snapped, a sudden, fierce determination washing over her face, quickening her breath. "I'm trying Arizona. I'm trying so hard to keep my engagement afloat. I'm trying to do the right thing here! Do you think I want to be thinking about you? I'm engaged. I would give anything not to be thinking about you!" Callie stared at her, feeling her heart slam against her chest as her emotions swirled inside of her like a brewing storm. Arizona looked surprised by her words, then her face set and she looked hurt and confused. "Do you know how hard I need to fight to keep you off my mind? I'm going crazy thinking about you. When I'm in your presence I can't think straight. I look into your eyes and I just want to drown in them." She took a step forward, "Do you know how much I want to kiss you right now? All the time. Whenever we are alone."

Arizona's breath shuddered and she hoarsely whispered, "You can't say those things to me." She watched as Callie's brown eyes raked up and down her body. "And you don't get to look at me like that."

Callie took another step forward. "Believe me when I say I know that. I have a ring around my finger to remind me of that, but I can't help how I feel Arizona. I can't help the way I look at you," she finished quietly, unable to find anything else to say while her heart pounded so hard against her chest, making her feel light headed.

"Calliope," Arizona breathed, barely speaking at all. Callie was sure her heart had just jumped out of her chest hearing her name fall from Arizona's lips like that. Arizona swallowed hard and looked around the room, before her eyes landed back on Callie who now stood that bit closer to her. "This!" She flicked her wrist between them, "This is what I am talking about. This is what's wrong. It's like I try to distance myself from you, thinking I can't get any more addicted to you than I already am, and then you say things like that and I –I. . ." She stuttered, frozen on the spot, as Callie once again took a step towards her, making her lose her train of thought.

"It's like you're crack!" Arizona blurted nervously, clearly struck by inspiration. "Yes! It's like I'm a crack addict, and you're my drug dealer who gives me crack for free, thinking you're doing me a favor. But every time I think, 'Wow, this crack might be a little bit of a problem for me because it's good. It's so good. But it comes with a warning; it's engaged. It's unavailable crack and it messes with you emotionally.' But you encourage me, you give me looks and you say stuff like that and it's like you are saying, 'Here Arizona, have some more delicious crack.' You don't think about the consequences, or how I'm going to feel when you leave and I start to get withdrawals."

Callie now stood right in front of her, a foot of space between them. She looked down at Arizona's lips, her tongue licking her own. Arizona's eyes tracked the movement and she swallowed hard. "You need to stop-" she said gently, but there was nothing she could have said afterwards that would have made a difference.

Callie took one final step, closing the gap between them. "Arizona," she whispered and before she even realized what she was doing, she leaned down and kissed her, softly. It was a ghost of a kiss. It almost felt unreal but apparently it was enough because Arizona responded. In spite of what she said she kissed Callie back.

Two voices quarreled in her head, one shouting at her to stop what she was doing—telling her how wrong it was. The other whispering this is how it should be.

She listened to the second voice.

Callie tugged the lapels of Arizona's lab coat, pulling her closer and parting her mouth, playfully sucking on Arizona's lower lip. She whimpered when Arizona's tongue slipped into her mouth and a pale hand reached up to forcefully grab a fistful of her dark hair. Callie's grip on Arizona tightened instinctively and she groaned at the taste of her. She clung to her—afraid that if she let go enough, Arizona would slip away. One of her hands slipped down her back and held her there, the same sense of passion and guilt flowing through her; as it did whenever she looked at her. Their lips moved in harmony. Their chemistry undeniable. This was heaven, and they both wanted nothing more than a moment longer to linger in heaven.

Needing more, Arizona pushed Callie back onto the small single bed and lifted a leg over her body so she was straddling her lap; hungrily deepening the kiss and connecting their bodies so they were flush against each other. Callie's head hit the wall but she was too overwhelmed to care, or maybe she just didn't notice. She could feel Arizona's chest pressed onto her own. She could feel her body heat radiate against her. Feel her heart beating strong and fast, whilst her tongue mapped out her mouth possessively and her fingers got tangled in her raven hair. Arizona growled when Callie's hands made their way to her thighs, slowly caressing the flesh through the thin material of her scrub pants until their kiss reached a fever pitch. Then, they moved to her well-rounded ass; Callie gripping the muscles tightly and swallowing Arizona's moans.

They parted when lack of oxygen in their lungs became a problem, savoring every last second of the kiss. Arizona pulled back, breathless, leaning their foreheads together and closing her eyes for a moment. When she opened them Callie was right there, her lips a hair's breadth away from her own. For a moment they breathed the same air, just looking lovingly into each other's eyes before Callie began to lean forward again, but this time, Arizona held her back gently. She blinked realizing what they had just done and pulled away.

"Arizona," Callie murmured, holding Arizona in place, and forcing her to make eye contact. "I . . . I'm sorry. For everything." She swallowed hard, her chest heaving, her words a breathless, shaky whisper as she said, "I never stopped loving you."

Just by the tone of her voice Arizona knew that Callie meant it with all her heart but the intensity of what she was feeling in that moment was overwhelming; love, anger, sadness, hope, and fear, whirling together and sharpened by the surprise of it all. "Calliope, I – We can't do this," she sighed, a bit resignedly, as she climbed off Callie's lap, a shaky hand running through her blonde hair. She shuddered and bit her bottom lip. This was a mistake. "You're engaged. I shouldn't have . . ."

"Arizona." Callie sat up and pulled at her wrist, tears brimming in her eyes, "Please. Wait . . ." Still surrounded by the grip of her fingers, Arizona closed her eyes tightly, desperately trying to convince herself of the thousand reasons why this was wrong.

It broke her heart to see the tears glisten in Callie's eyes, she watched as some slipped down her tanned cheeks and wanted nothing more than to comfort her, but she couldn't. She had to protect herself. She pulled her wrist from Callie's grasp, "I'm done waiting . . ." The words lingered in the air. She wanted to believe they were true. She wanted to believe she was done pining over Callie; who was unavailable. But the truth of the matter was she was lying. She was lying to Callie, lying to herself, lying to her body and to her heart. She knew she couldn't escape Callie or their feelings for each other, even if she was more determined than ever to walk away; to move on.

She opened the door to the on-call room, the knots in her stomach tightening and her heart beat racing at lightning speed, ready to explode as she walked as fast as she could down the hall and away from Callie. It wasn't fair. None of this was fair. She wanted to move on, to forget; to start with a clean slate. But God, more than anything, in this moment, she wanted to be able to breathe again, because Callie had just told her that she loved her and she walked away.

Suddenly, she heard a voice shout her name and she stopped dead in her tracks. Of course reality would rear its ugly head in this moment. Inhaling deeply, she turned to find Erica Hahn quickening her pace, "Robbins!" This was great. Perfect. "Something wrong?" Erica asked dryly, standing close enough now to notice Arizona's flushed cheeks and labored breathing.

Arizona, with a light sheen of sweat decorating her brow, looked at her, "Nothing. Nothing's wrong. Why would anything be wrong? Has something happened?"

"You look a little flustered," Erica commented, before steering the conversation away from personal and back to professional. "I'm glad I found you, I was hoping we could go over our plans for Charlotte's surgery. I want to make sure we are on the same page since you and I have never worked in the OR together. I like to be prepared."

"Yeah," Arizona agreed. "Of course," she tried to muster her best smile. "Just now or uh, later. . ."

"Well, I didn't seek you out for the good of my health." Arizona didn't hear a word Erica was saying, she was too busy looking over her shoulder, watching Callie sneak out of the on-call room behind them.

"Uh, Dr. Robbins?" Erica said, trying to get Arizona's attention. "Am I talking to myself here?"

"Oh, uh yeah. No." Arizona said flustered, her voice sounding a little shaky to Erica. "Now? Th—that would be great. Super!"

"Okay then," Erica replied, looking at Arizona like she was a little crazy.

Swallowing hard, Arizona forced a smile onto her face and reluctantly followed Erica down the hall. This wasn't awkward. Nope. Not awkward at all.

* * *

**AN:** Thanks to anyone reading, following, or reviewing this story. I really do appreciate it!


	8. It's Over

**Chapter Eight**

**It's Over**

* * *

"It's over."

Her mind whispered it repeatedly as she sat on the on call room bed, staring ahead in a trance like state. She seemed to be in shock, she thought, quite rationally; because whatever she felt now was the furthest thing from sadness she knew. But it was not happiness, either. It was nothing – simply nothing. How was that even possible? She should feel something. Anything. It had only been three hours since she had walked away and she felt completely numb. The hospital was usually a good distraction – providing her with some broken bones to mend – but not tonight. It was late and she found herself sitting alone – in the dark, empty, on-call room – feeling … well, nothing.

Her head shot up as the on-call room door opened and the intruder let out a heavy, defeated sigh. Callie looked up to find Arizona standing in the doorway. "Sorry," she said quickly. "I was looking for somewhere to sleep and thought this room was empty." Her hand was still hovering on the door handle, ready to make a quick escape, but as she looked at Callie something about the expression on her face stopped her. "Callie?" she whispered. She had no intention to whisper but it felt like the right thing to do. "Are you okay?"

Arizona's concerned voice broke her. It was like she was giving her permission to not be okay. It was then, quietly and without warning, the tears came. She swallowed hard against the lump in her throat, but that only seemed to make it worse. A sob escaped before she said, "Can you not right now. . ."

The hurt in Callie's voice forced Arizona to step further inside the room, closing the door behind her. "Is something wrong?" she asked gently. She didn't know if this was related to their argument earlier in the day and she felt a surge of guilt course through her body.

"No," Callie lied, but she inwardly winced as her voice cracked. With a hearty sniff, she shook it off, "I'm fine." With just a look, Callie knew Arizona didn't believe her but to her credit she didn't press on. She remained frozen on the spot, staring at her with a concerned look on her face.

Callie bit down on her lower lip which was quivering and averted her gaze. Closing her eyes for a second, she allowed the tears that had developed to spill out and slide down her cheeks. "You should probably go," she managed to say in an almost convincing voice, but Arizona heard the shaky breath she had to take before she spoke - an attempt to maintain composure and stop herself from crying.

Callie was very clearly upset about something.

Arizona stood for all of a second, debating whether or not she should comfort her. A small, tiny part of her knew she should do as Callie asked and leave her alone. That's what most people want when they're upset – to be alone. Well, they don't … deep down they don't … most people want someone there … to hold them. To tell them it's all right. To assure them that everything is going to be okay. But, usually people are too afraid to expose themselves to someone in that way … to allow someone to support them in a moment of weakness … to be that vulnerable with someone else. Her hand reached for the lock on the door, turning it to ensure no one could burst into the room.

Hearing the door lock Callie turned to face her, tears welling in her eyes and making her vision blurry. She tried to blink them away, but couldn't. "You don't have to pretend around me," Arizona said soothingly as she walked over to her. "If you're upset, you're upset." With that Callie broke down, harsh sobs escaping and making her body shake violently.

"Oh, Callie," Arizona said tenderly, crawling onto the bed beside her and wrapping her arms around the crying woman. Callie buried her head into the crook of Arizona's neck, her warmth and scent comforting her slightly. "It's okay," Arizona assured the sobbing brunette, her hand rubbing soothing circles on her back. "You're okay," she repeated. "I've got you."

Callie didn't know how long it was that she sobbed in Arizona's arms, comforting words being whispered into her ear over and over again. But when it was finally over, she lifted her tearstained face from Arizona's shoulder and looked into her comforting blue eyes. "I'm sorry," Callie choked out. Arizona raised a hand, and used her thumb to brush away the stray tears streaking Callie's tanned cheeks. "I didn't mean to get so emotional," Callie continued. "I was fine but then seeing you, it just hit me all at once and I- I-" she trailed off, closing her eyes, not wanting to start crying again.

Arizona pulled back slightly. "You're crying because of me," she responded, in a tiny, strangled voice.

"No," Callie said quickly. "I mean, yes . . . I –I don't know," she admitted. "I think it's just everything. All of this – it's been hard."

Arizona nodded her head. "Yeah," she agreed, letting out a small sigh. "It really has been."

"I didn't choose to leave you, you know," Callie said, after long minutes of tranquil silence. "I was forced."

"I know," Arizona admitted. "I'm sorry."

"You might think you know Arizona but you don't," Callie shook her head. "I was with you when you came out to your parents. Your mom hugged you and she told you she loved you no matter what. Your dad's biggest worry was if you were still the person he raised you to be. My parents found out I was gay and they told me I would spend an eternity in hell if I didn't get rid of my sinful thoughts. They told me I was confused and that I didn't love you. That it was just a phase I was going through and that I would get over it. They believed I would thank them one day for loving me enough to save me from myself. My parents were all too happy to 'accommodate my needs' and move my family across the country, just to make sure I went to a strict Catholic Boarding School because apparently that's what I needed to 'pray away the gay.' So, I know that I hurt you and I've apologized for that but I was hurting too. I not only lost you but my family. I'm not the bad guy here. I didn't want to leave you."

Arizona didn't respond. She didn't need to – the silence that had fell upon the room said more than words. It seemed to amplify the pain and emptiness they were feeling, heightening the inevitable build-up of strong emotions each had about the past and the current situation they found themselves in.

A few moments passed, though it felt like hours before Callie spoke again. "And at the wedding it was wrong for me to sleep with you knowing I was engaged. But I told you I was and I let you know I was only in Baltimore for one night. You knew. I didn't lie to you. I didn't force you to sleep with me. You wanted to just as much as I wanted to. It wasn't just some . . ." she paused to think. "What did you say again? Oh, cheap fuck."

Arizona winced. Had she really said that in all of her anger and fury? "Callie," she began softly, but now seemed to be Callie's time to vent. Arizona had steered all of their other conversations, she had said everything she had to say whilst Callie had stood their apologizing for things that weren't really her fault. How could she be blamed for a decision her parents made on her behalf? How could she be blamed for sleeping with Arizona and leaving her when she had disclosed the fact she was engaged and made it known that she was only in town for one night.

This situation was neither of their faults. It was fate and its wicked sense of humor; giving them the thing they wanted more than anything in the world, at the worst possible time. It was fate throwing them into the deep end and testing the waters to see if the current was stronger than their love for one another. They were given two options: sink or swim. Fate had set everything up, given them the opportunity they had longed for, but fate can only do so much; the choices and decisions well, that comes down to the individuals involved.

"I don't regret it," Callie said in a firm voice. "I don't regret sleeping with you and I don't regret kissing you earlier - I feel bad that you told me not to and I did it anyway, that was selfish - but I don't regret it …"

"Callie," Arizona chastised. "Don't do this..."

"Arizona," Callie interrupted. "I don't regret it because it made me realize how wrong I was about everything. It made me see that what I was doing was wrong. It wasn't the right thing for anyone. It wasn't fair on you and it wasn't fair on Erica."

"Arizona," Callie began, taking a deep breath. "I broke off my engagement . . ." That was the first time she had said it out loud. That it was over. That she was single. Her heart beat increased as a mixture of panic, fear, excitement and sadness set in. She really didn't know how to feel at this point. Everything had happened so suddenly, it was an impulsive decision she had made - but it was definitely the right one. It was for the best and it was what she wanted. It didn't make it any easier – she was still petrified about what all of this meant and what was going to happen next. She hadn't even processed the break up yet – that was what she was trying to do before Arizona walked in. In short, her emotions were all over the place.

Arizona's eyed widened and her jaw dropped in shock. "Oh," she whispered – she didn't know what else to say. "Are you okay?" she asked, rather lamely. "It's okay if you're not," she added quickly. "I mean, you did love her … right?"

Callie winced, knowing she had to answer the question truthfully. "A part of me did, yeah." She admitted, hating the fact that she could see Arizona's face crumple up just a little bit. "Arizona," she breathed. "I loved her but I was never _in_ love with her."

"I don't really know what to do or say Callie," Arizona admitted, she was surprised and shocked by this turn of events and her heart was pounding in her chest, trying to escape. "You broke off your engagement – tonight – a couple of hours ago. Do you need space? Should I leave…" she added, panicking a little and getting to her feet. "I mean would that help, I don't know what you want me to do," she repeated.

Callie reached up and took Arizona's hand in her own. "Stay," she asked softly, her eye's pleading. She noticed the look of uncertainty on Arizona's face and realized she might have asked too much of her too soon. This was definitely a confusing time for them both. Arizona had said to Callie she was finished, that she was done waiting around, whilst Callie had decided she was done kidding herself on about Erica. But still, she was in an emotionally fragile place right now. She had just ended a relationship that was meant to last forever.

"You don't have to…" Callie added, backpedalling and making sure Arizona knew it was optional. "It's just, you were looking for somewhere to sleep and you asked if leaving would help but I feel much better when you are here … when you are with me …" she trailed off, realizing she was rambling. "We can just lie here and go to sleep," she said, making her intentions clear. "That's all - it's been a long day."

Arizona was scared to death of her own feelings. Terrified of how much she wanted to climb into that bed with Callie and hold her. It was like Callie knew she needed it just as much as her – the comfort – but there are boundaries_._ There are lines in the sand, and once you cross them, you can never go back. This seemed like one of those moments. _It was too soon._ Were Callie and Erica really over or was this just some temporary lapse in judgement and they would both realize they had made a mistake. Those were the thoughts going through Arizona's head, but as she looked down at their joined hands, she noticed Callie's engagement ring was gone and couldn't help but intertwine their fingers. "I'll stay," she whispered, smiling as she gave Callie's hand a reassuring squeeze.

Callie smiled and watched as Arizona removed her shoes and climbed back onto the bed. At first she sat up and just stared at Callie but they both realized lying face to face was dangerous territory so Arizona moved back until she collided with Callie's chest, whose breath hitched when she felt Arizona's body pressed against her own. After a moment of physical awkwardness, the tension released, and they both realized just how exhausted they were. It had been a long, emotionally draining day for them both. When they had finally settled against each other, Arizona reached behind her to take Callie's hand, laying it over her stomach. She let her hand come to rest on top of Callie's. This felt right.

She smiled to herself, before whispering, "Goodnight Calliope."

Callie couldn't believe she was in bed with Arizona, holding her in her arms again. This was something she wanted to do for the rest of her life. "Goodnight Arizona," she responded, a megawatt smile adorning her face.

After a few moments Callie spoke again. "Arizona," she said quietly, not sure if the blonde was still awake.

"Hmm. . ." Arizona hummed faintly, half asleep.

"There's no pretending with you."

Arizona opened her eyes, she was sure Callie was processing her thoughts out loud because the comment came out of nowhere. Arizona wanted to tell Callie how she felt, but something held her back from saying anything; fear probably. Fear of rejection – again. She turned to face Callie and smiled, placing a brief, comforting kiss on her cheek. That was all she planned on doing but she got lost looking into those chocolate brown eye's and she slowly but surely brought a hand up to caress Callie's cheek, before running her thumb along Callie's plump lower lip. Feeling the need to capture it with her own she kissed her square on the mouth. The kiss began soft, slow and tentative but turned into a passionate heated kiss as Callie moved her lips in time with Arizona's. She swiped her tongue across Arizona's lips begging for entrance and Arizona happily parted them, their tongues melting together in the most sensual of ways. Every time they kissed their senses went into overload; they craved and missed the contact and comfort that only the other could provide. Arizona sucked on that lower lip that she had just felt and bit down on it slightly before releasing it with a small groan and pulling away; Callie's sweet flavor lingering there. Callie leaned back in and placed the most tender of kisses on her lips, smiling as she intertwined her hand's with Arizona's. They both laid facing each other, lost in each other's gaze until they fell asleep - neither knowing what would happen when they woke up.

* * *

Flashback - The Break Up

The keys were dangling on Erica's fingers as she entered the complex, climbing the stairs one by one until she reached the third floor. She already had the right key between her fingers, ready to open the door to their apartment.

Callie was already home. The only sounds that could be heard from inside the apartment were the rustling of the leaves from the trees outside, the zooming of the cars passing by and the ticking of the clock. The room was filled with such silence and emptiness that the ticks-and-the-tocks seemed to echo within the four walls of the room; the snapping of the hands getting louder with each passing second.

Callie hated it.

It was a few minutes later—or had it been longer?—that she heard the rattling of a key in the lock of the door and she inhaled deeply. This was it.

Erica held onto the handle as she put the key in the lock and twisted it, the door opening with a click. Retrieving the key she pushed the door open further and entered her home; dropping them into the bowl which sat on the table next to the door with a clutter. Callie, who was sitting on the couch looking rather tired and drained, turned her head and Erica smiled. "Hey, how was your day?" she asked as she peeled off her jacket and hung it on the coat rack.

It was a simple question – _How was your day?_

Erica asked Callie that nearly every night and she never hesitated, but tonight was different. She couldn't share how her day had been with her fiancé. She couldn't say she spent most of the day obsessing over another woman, that she had kissed her and told her that she never stopped loving her. That she had felt both overjoyed and terrible for admitting it because Arizona deserved better. And truth be told so did Erica. _How was your day? _It should definitely be easier to answer a question as simple as that.

"It was fine," Callie lied. "It's just I really need to-"

"Good," Erica said as she strode over to the couch, swooping down and placing a quick kiss on Callie's cheek. That was also something that had become routine; the welcome home kiss if either of them had been working late. "Now, hurry up and go get dressed," Erica smiled. "I'm taking you out for dinner tonight."

Callie closed her eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath, "I can't."

"What do you mean you can't?" Erica cursed inwardly but continued smiling. "Come on," she urged. "When was the last time we went out on a date Callie? Whatever you've got going on tonight can wait. I can't. Tonight is our night." And by our night she meant the night they would finally have sex again – they hadn't been intimate since before the wedding.

"This can't wait," Callie spoke calmly but with a sense of urgency because she knew exactly what she needed to do. She had to end things with Erica once and for all. It wasn't fair. The truth of the matter was she was lying to herself, to Arizona and to Erica. "I can't do this anymore." Her voice was a whisper, her sadness bare for Erica to see.

"No Callie." Erica shook her head, "Stop. We're not having this conversation again, just because you're having a bad day. I've told you I forgive you and you said you were all in. Things have been good. We've been trying. Moving on."

"That's the point . . ." Callie looked like she was grasping for words, "I can't move on."

The silence was suffocating. Callie watched as Erica's emotions battled for dominance across her face; anger, sadness, confusion and desperation. Then finally she spoke, her voice filled with hurt but also anger, "There's always a way, Callie! There's always something we can do. Why aren't you willing to look?"

The real answer to that question was that it was now only obligation and guilt holding them together, and it simply wasn't enough. Callie loved Erica but she wasn't in love with her and although her feelings for Arizona certainly brought that to light, deep down she had always known she wasn't head over heels in love with her. It didn't make this any easier. She cared deeply for her. Erica had been her best friend for the past six years, her lover for four and her fiancé for one. The feelings were real – very real. This was not easy – at all.

Callie noticed a change in Erica's posture, it was tense, her jaw was tight and her eyes narrow. In short, she looked livid. "This is our life Callie. When I put that ring on your finger," she grabbed Callie's left hand rather forcefully, her engagement ring shimmering in the light, "I told you that I loved you and that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. Did you even want the same thing when you said yes?"

"I –I thought I did," Callie stuttered, tears forming in her eyes. "I thought-"

"You thought!" Erica snapped, shocked. Her voice was thick with emotion and the hurt she was feeling was written all over her face. "It never even occurred to me that we wouldn't make it Callie. I thought this was it for us and all along you've thought you could spend the rest of your life with me!"

An awkward silence lingered between them as they attempted to keep their emotions at bay.

"I can't believe this," Erica said in a small, timid voice. "I feel like I don't even know you Callie. How is that even possible? How did I manage to spend four years of my life in a relationship with you and not see that we weren't right – that you weren't all in. I mean, were you miserable the whole time. Is that why you cheated on me? You weren't happy."

"No," Callie said quickly, dismissing the notion. "I was happy - that was all real Erica. I wasn't miserable with you. We were happy and I did love you. I mean, I do love you, but not the way you deserve to be loved."

"I forgave you," Erica interrupted, her eyes glistening with tears at this point. They both knew this wasn't just about the cheating. It was bigger than that. Callie simply didn't love Erica enough to marry her, to spend the rest of her life with her. It was heart-breaking and unfair, but it was also true. If they continued the way they were going the relationship would fail further down the line because Callie would come to resent her decision to marry someone she did not love with all of her heart and that would have made them both miserable. "I can't believe this is happening," Erica said, shaking her head in disbelief. "I don't even know what makes sense anymore Callie. "

"I'm so sorry," Callie replied, sniffling back her own tears.

"What do we do now?" Erica asked, tears falling down her cheeks. "This is our home. We work together. We'll be seeing each other every day. How do we-"

"I don't know," Callie responded, softly shaking her head. "I'll need to find somewhere else to live," she said, reality setting in.

Erica's eyes widened, Callie was actually leaving. "This is really happening," she murmured under her breath.

Callie let out a low, shaky breath. "This is really happening," she repeated.

The finality of the situation was sinking in and both women couldn't help but cry – their relationship was over. Callie had settled – she was content with her life but she had realized at the most inopportune of times that settling simply wasn't good enough. She had realized at a time when all seemed well in her life and her relationship. It had sneaked up on her – unexpectedly. But,_ true love_ cannot be forced, it's either there or it isn't. And, in this case, it was fabricated. She had made herself believe in something that simply wasn't there to begin with. It was all pretend and it was all over.

* * *

AN: I'm not sure I'm completely happy with how I handled this chapter... Let me know what you think.

Thanks to anyone reading, following or reviewing! As always, I appreciate it.


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